Faye is right though, I have held onto hope that someday fate will cross our paths again, and he will forgive me. I have typed him the same email a hundred times. The first line is always the same, with me answering the one question he asks at the end of each message.
Brian: How do you keep on going on with your life? Because I live in the space between yesterday and today. Aria, I live in my dreams with you.
Me: I hold onto hope that one day all the stars will align and you will become mine once more. That’s what has kept me going Brian, the promise of you…
However, every time, I hit delete. I can never bring myself to press send. I should have deactivated my email long ago, but it is almost like a drug for me, my very own Brian fix. Memories of him, what once was, and what could have been, are the teardrops that stain my pillow. I feel lost somewhere between the moon and the stars.
Chapter Two
Tyler pops his head through the door. “Hey, sugar, you ready to play hostess?” I swear, every single time “sugar” rolls off his tongue I feel flushed.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, my head got away from me for a minute.”
“Faye looks great today, don’t worry about her so much.” He slaps his palm against the doorframe and gives me a minute to get myself together.
Now I feel like a selfish bitch, because my mom’s health was the last thing on my mind. Time to get my head out of the clouds and get with it, Jace is counting on me, and only me.
Stepping outside and seeing the sight of my little man surrounded by his buddies is enough to wipe all the negative thoughts from my mind. He runs over to me and says, “I love this Ma!”
Jace blows out his candles and digs into his cake and presents. Tyler excuses himself to his car and comes back with a football shaped piñata. Of course, he drives a car that displays how fucking hot he is. He drives a black ’78 Firebird when he isn’t riding his motorcycle. That car just screams “come take a ride on the wild side.” If the beautiful body of the car isn’t enough to catch your attention, the purr of the engine will give you a cargasm.
Tyler hangs the piñata low from a tree in the backyard, and all of the kids are eagerly waiting their turn to swing the bat. He tells Jace that he gets to go first because it’s his special day. Jace is already so competitive, just like Brian. He even has some of his same mannerisms, tucking the loose waves of his sandy brown hair behind his ear as he adjusts his grip on the bat and takes a practice swing. He wears a look of pure determination on his face, and his little tongue sticks out a little to the left. He drills the piñata and screams in excitement. His hair falls back in his eyes as he jumps up and down waiting for his next turn.
I know I need to have his hair cut, but this mom wants to enjoy her little man having curls just a bit longer. He is so much like his father it almost frightens me. I don’t want to think about that now though. I direct my attention to back to Tyler.
“Thank you, for everything today, you didn’t have to do all of this. I really appreciate it though.”
He smiles warmly. And gives me a side hug. “I wanted to do it, and you don’t need to thank me. I’d do anything for my little buddy and you. Tomorrow is your first night at the club, right?” I nod. “I’ll be there, so if you need anything come find me.”
I turned down his initial offer to be a dancer at the club before I caved in and accepted his final offer. The money was just too good to pass up.
He wipes a nervous bead of sweat from his brow. “Want me to stick around and help clean up, I don’t mind. I’m not picking my date up until seven.”
I don’t know why, but I feel a pang of jealousy at the thought of him having a date.
“He is your friend Aria—and your boss! Shake those thoughts right now,” I scold myself.
I clear my throat. “A date, that is…awesome!” I gush with fake enthusiasm. “You have a little bit of blue icing on your shirt, so you may want to change first.” I wipe at his shirt, feeling his muscles tense at my touch. His eyes are intense as he looks down at me, and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Who’s the lucky lady?” I ask, trying to lighten the moment.
“I haven’t met her yet, it’s a blind date. Crash set me up with her, a friend of his wife. Her name’s Crystal, I think.” He shrugs as though his date is the last thing he wants to do today.
“You think! You had better find out before you pick her up.” I teasingly punch him on the shoulder. “Go on, get out of here.”
He takes me into a bear hug, and squeezes me tight. His lips barely brush my neck in a whisper. The feeling of his warm breath against my sensitive skin makes me feel a bit dizzy. I freeze in place, unsure of how to respond. The small gesture of affection catches me completely off guard. I think he kissed me by accident, so I take an awkward step back, and place some much needed distance between the two of us. I don’t want him having this effect on me, but he has the ability to consume me. He knows it too. Part of me thinks he loves to watch me squirm.
The way he’s gazing at me gives me a feeling that he wants more than I can give him. It scares me sometimes how easily I could fall for him.
He’s been inviting me to ride with him and catch an occasional movie, but I usually don’t have the time or a sitter, outside of work. Tyler even uses Jace as bait to try and lure me out with him. The thought is sweet, but I am afraid that I’ll do something to ruin our relationship and I can’t lose another friend that I care so much about. I never was much on having girlfriends. Tyler is just easy to be around, even if he is hot as hell.
“So, have fun on your date tonight.” I punch him again and run off after Jace for an excuse to get away from him before I embarrass myself further.
When I look back he’s walking to his car with his head down.
Mom is getting up from her seat, and I rush over to her, she look
s so weak.
“What was that all about?”