the man in front of me.
All I can do is kiss him right now in this moment. Tyler is everything I could ever want in a man. I mean he is sexy as sin, good with my son, and so understanding of my situation.
He breaks away from our kiss before it even gets started.
“Aria, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if I can do this, not knowing where you stand with Brian. I want you to take a few days to think. If you are sure you don’t want to try to work things out with Jace’s dad, then I’ll be here. But, if you decide you want a family with him…Aria, I will walk away for good.”
What just happened? I thought we were taking two steps forward only to take three steps back.
Chapter Nine
I am getting really nervous about telling Brian the truth—that he’s a father. I have played the words over and over again in my head, but no matter how I say them, they never sound right. His reaction is what scares me the most. I mean he could be really happy or really pissed. If it were me, I would be royally pissed off. How do you take everything that someone thought they knew about you, and say sorry it has all been a lie, but my intentions were true? Up or down, I don’t know which way is right anymore. I am still confused by my feelings for him. My talk with Tyler has me reevaluating my feelings on everything in my life.
I am trying so hard to figure it all out. No one has ever made me physically feel the way Tyler has, but when I look back on my relationship with Brian, we shared such an amazing emotional connection. However, now that all these years have passed, will our connection still be strong, can our love survive time and all the lies?
I can’t keep thinking about it, I have to get to work for a meeting.
This week there is a huge biker rally taking place and the MC is hosting. The owner of Indigo, Scorch, who happens to be the president of Rightful Bastards is calling a staff meeting, which means I have to be there, and I have to see Tyler there as well.
When I get to the meeting Tyler won’t even look at me.
“This weekend is going to be one of our biggest yet. We are going to need everyone to work this weekend, even if you are scheduled to be off, your ass better be here. Things will be different. The Grim Executioners are a friend of the club, and I promised them a good time. You’ll see to it that they get it.” The meeting ends.
Then it happens, Tyler looks at me and my heart jumps into my throat. I want to jump over the chairs and the people seated in front of me and tell him I don’t care. I want him to take me in his arms and tell me none of it matters. That we will work through it all together. I want him to want me. It’s now that I realize that I am no longer in love with Brian. I have been in love with the idea of what could have been. Tyler breaks our brief gaze and exits the room. I start to go after him, but Erin stops me. She’s gushing about how when Indigo hosts a private event for motorcycle club, the guys tip generously, but they also expect more than dancing in return.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she means. I won’t fuck random bikers for money. I’ll quit first.
I rush home to get away from Indigo and away from thoughts of Tyler.
I’m able to get through the night keeping myself busy with taking care of Jace.
The next day I have to take Faye to an appointment with her Oncologist. They want her to start chemo again and she is refusing. I am so frustrated by her.
I’m in my bedroom getting dressed to take her to her appointment when I hear a loud thump, and assume it is Jace playing roughly with his toys. As I walk past his room, I notice he’s on his bed looking at baseball cards.
“Faye, are you about ready, we have to get going if we are going to beat the midday rush,” I call out to her, but she doesn’t answer me.
I make my way to her room to see if she needs my assistance getting dressed.
“Fuck!” I let out in a cry. Jace comes running to see what has me so upset. Faye is lying on her floor motionless. Jace’s presence snaps me from my shock. Grabbing the house phone from her nightstand, I dial 911 and start checking her for a pulse; she has one but it is faint.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
I relay the information to the operator the best I can. I am trying to hold back my sobs. I don’t want to frighten Jace. I know he isn’t old enough to fully understand what is going on, but I don’t want him terrified and scarred from this later on in his life. He is already going to have enough to deal with, no thanks to me and my bad decision making habits.
“Jace, baby, mommy needs to you to be a big boy and go to your room. Can you do that for mommy?”
He nods his head and does as I ask. He is such a good kid, most of the time.
I am so scared I can’t lose her, not yet. “Don’t leave me mom, please, please hold on for me, for Jace!” I brush her hair back from her face. I position her and start chest compressions. Fuck, how many times did the operator say to do it? I pick my phone up off the floor.
“Ma’am, are you still with me? How many times did you say?” I choke out.
“One hundred miss, just try to remain calm. The paramedics will be there in a few minutes.”
Positioning my hands between her breasts in the center of her chest, I begin pumping. I silently count each compression in my head. A few moments later, I am being pulled away from her as the paramedics begin working on her. They get her stable and an oxygen mask is placed over her mouth. They let me know I can follow the ambulance if I like but they are taking her to Walter’s Memorial Hospital. I start to call Caroline, but then I remember she is working today and Erin is in class. I have no one left to call but Chrissy or possibly Bender. I could call Tyler, but Jace isn’t his responsibility, he’s mine.
Chrissy tells me to bring him by the tanning salon. I rush him there, and I thank her a million times as I leave Jace in her care. I’m frantically trying to reach the hospital to see my mom.