“Why don’t you let one of the guys drive you. Tyler was at the gym, earlier. I’m sure he’d be here in a heartbeat for you.”
I can only shake my head. I have to go now. Before I leave, I promise her that I will be back for Jace as soon as I can.
When I arrive at the hospital, they don’t have good news for me. Faye has suffered a stroke, and she isn’t responding. When the stroke hit, she fell and knocked her head on the floor. That was the thump I had heard. There is swelling on her brain, and they can’t give me any other information until they run more test.
They have her on life support. The Doctors ask me a gazillion and one questions, because I am her next of kin. They are asking me so many questions about her cancer that I don’t know the answers to. An hour later, the doctor pulls me aside and tells me that they have a living will on file for her and that in it states that she does not want to be kept on life support any longer than two days. The weight of his words hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel off balance and the room is spinning. The doctor makes me sit down and hold my head between my legs.
“Just breathe Miss Stuart. Slow deep breaths, that’s it.”
He further explains that he has had time to review her file more thoroughly and due to the advance state of her pancreatic cancer her chances of recovery are slim to none.
I walk back to Faye’s room in a daze. I wish this were a nightmare. The weak state of her body from the cancer is not in her favor. She looks so frail in her bed with all the tubes in her body. Have I not noticed how bad she has looked these past few months? I take her hand in mine and trace the lines on her palm. I tell her all the things I have always wanted to say but never had the courage. I tell her how angry I am with her for leaving me once again. How dare she put me through this? Our times not up. Jace needs her. I need her, damn it!
Placing a kiss on her cheek, I stand to stretch my legs. They are stiff from sitting hunched over her bed for so long.
There is a light knock on the door. It’s Caroline. She pulls me into her arms and holds me as I cry. “How did you know?’
“Mrs. Moore from across t
he street told me. Now here I am. I am so sorry Aria. How is she? Is she going to be okay?”
I wipe my tears away and slide my hands down my pants. “No, she’s going to leave me. I’m not ready for her to go Caroline. I can’t do this. And I need to pick up Jace. I can’t just leave him with Chrissy. He is probably so scared and confused. I can’t reach Bender’s dumb ass either. He should be here.”
“I can pick him up and bring him here if you want, or I can take him to the park for a little bit if you want to stay here a little longer. Just let me know what you need from me. Do you need me to call work for you?”
“No, I am going to work tonight. I can’t just sit here doing nothing. I need to keep busy.”
Chapter Ten
Jace was more than excited to go to the park with Caroline and I’m sure Chrissy was ready to be relieved of him. She loves kids, but Jace can wear a person out. I arrive at the park to take him home with me for some time alone with him. All of this shit has me scared now more than ever to tell Brian the truth. I can’t lose my baby boy too. I watch him as he grins at Caroline. The two of them together is a sight of pure perfection. Caroline is so good with him. She’s tickling his tummy. He is shrieking in protest, the cutest thing ever.
I take him home with me for a bit. I get Jace fed his dinner and give him his bath. I know he is confused about Faye being gone. He keeps asking where “Mam Mam is,” and going to her recliner. It breaks my heart.
The evening passes by quickly. We play with his cars and watch one of his favorite movies, The Sandlot.
Caroline is back home and able to stay with Jace for me while I go to work. I feel horrible for leaving him again, but I need to keep the bills paid.
Tonight, is crazy busy; I haven’t seen Tyler all night. I want to tell him about my mom. He has grown attached to her. I sometimes tease him that he only comes to the house so he can visit her. I am in need of a break. Turning the knob to the lounge, I try to gain entrance, the door is jammed. What the hell? I go over to the bar and take a seat. There is only one reason I can think of for the door to be locked and it makes my stomach churn. I keep my eyes glued to the door waiting for anyone to come out, anyone but Tyler. Ten minutes pass, my break is almost over when finally, I see the door crack.
Erin walks out and wipes the corners of her mouth. The door shuts again. She sees me watching and gives me a smirk. My heart is in my throat. Another minute passes by and the door opens. Tyler walks out buttoning his sleeves. He doesn’t see me studying his actions. I am so sick, my head feels woozy, and I am afraid my knees are going to buckle. I almost gave my heart to him. How could he? I have been honest with him from the start.
I grab the counter for support. I can’t control the tears as they start to flood my cheeks. Rushing through the front doors, I tell the bouncer something has come up, to tell Trina I had to leave. What a shitty fucking day! My mom is dying and Tyler doing whatever he was doing with that whore!
My phone buzzes, it’s Tyler calling. No thank you, I send the call to voicemail. He leaves a message, but I can’t bear to hear his voice and whatever lie he is about to feed me. Not this girl, I’m not going to just bend over and take it.
After I change clothes and send Caroline home, I spend the rest of the night watching cartoons with the only man I can trust besides my daddy, my little Jace.
The next morning, I drop Jace off at daycare and head to the tanning salon. I have a party of five scheduled for spray tans today. A bride and her bridesmaids are getting ready for her wedding. I keep catching myself eying the front entrance of the gym next door, watching for Tyler to come in for his daily workout. He never shows and even though I am mad at him, a part of me still wants to see him. I am a glutton for punishment. This is what I deserve. After the way I have treated Brian, it serves me right. After my shift is over, I leave Jace in daycare for a little longer so I can go to the hospital to check on Faye.
When I arrive at the hospital the doctor is waiting for me. “Miss Stuart, I regret to inform you that your mother’s condition is not improving, it is declining. I am afraid there is nothing more we can do for her. I would like your permission to take her off life support.” The doctor places his hand on my shoulder. “Is there anyone we can call for you, any other family?” I shake my head. “Do I have your permission?” I nod in response. I can’t bring myself to say the words. He reaches me a form and I sign.
They give me a few minutes to say goodbye. I rub her hand; it is still so warm. Her pulse is there but very faint. I’m not ready to say goodbye her, and where in the fuck is Bender when she needed him the most, he just fucking bails. Another action that tells me I am probably better off leaving shit with Tyler alone. He’s a biker too and probably a dirty fucker like Bender.
“I am so mad at you right now! How can you leave me while I need you the most?” I take a moment to collect my thoughts. “I’ve made a decision, I’m going to call Brian. I am going to tell him about Jace. I wish you could be here when they meet. I know you will be proud of me for doing the right thing. I love you mom.” I haven’t called her mom to her face since I was a girl. I felt she had lost the right to the title until the past few years.
I wish she’d squeeze my hand or flutter her lashes. Something, anything, to give me a sign that she can hear me. Anything to let me know the doctor is wrong and that she’s still here and not going anywhere.
The doctor and a few nurses come into the room, they ask me to leave the room, but there is a part of me that is hanging on. Hoping that they are wrong and when they unhook the tubes and machines she is going to breathe on her own. But it finally hits me once they have unhooked everything that her chest isn’t raising. My mother is gone.