If You Fall (Brimstone 1)

He shook his head softly. “I’m sorry,” he said and took my hands in his, kissing them tenderly. “I understand.” Then he pulled me into his arms and we stood together and I let him hold me.

I relaxed a bit, but the desire that had built up in me from his kiss and touch, from the feel of his body against my hands, his scent, all died when I thought about Dan.

Dammit!

“I’m sorry,” I said and looked up at his face, forcing a smile. “It made me think of the war and…”

He nodded but kept me in his arms. “I understand.”

We stood like that for a while, his arms wrapped around me, my head against his bare shoulder.

“Do you want me to take you home or will you stay?”

I sighed. “I should go home.”

He sighed heavily in turn. “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?” He tilted up my face and looked in my eyes. “We can sit out on the deck at Louis’s Backyard and enjoy the sunset. Talk. Take up where we left off – whatever you want.”

“I work tomorrow from five until ten.”

“A late supper? They serve food until midnight.”

I smiled at his persistence. “I’d like that.”

“Whew,” he said and wiped his brow dramatically. “I don’t want to leave without seeing you again.”

He bent down and kissed me and it was tender rather than passionate and I felt a stab of regret that this happened.

“You have to understand,” I said, my voice soft. “I’ve been with two men in my life. My childhood sweetheart and Dan. It’s not easy for me…”

“I do understand,” he said and frowned. “I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you about my scar. It really creeps out some women but I didn’t know…”

“It doesn’t creep me out at all,” I said and shook my head, surprised that anything about Beckett could creep any woman out. He was just way too gorgeous. “Is that why you wear a turtleneck even in the summer?”

He nodded. “I don’t like to have to answer questions about how I got it. Most people aren’t ready for the truth.”

I understood completely. I didn’t really want to know what happened to him, for it brought back too many memories of the time just after Dan was killed, when we tried so hard to find out what happened, but only got a few reports about the crash in the storm. It was a terrible time in my life and in the life of Dan’s parents and family.

I slid out of his arms and picked up my dress, pulling it over my head and smoothing my hair, while he put his shirt back on. He left the top buttons of his shirt undone and then pulled on his jacket.

“Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

I stopped him, my hand on his arm.

“I’m really sorry.”

“No apologies,” he said and touched my chin with his thumb. “When you’re ready – hopefully before I leave – we can try again if you want. I know I want it.”

“I do,” I said, kicking myself mentally for my reaction. “I really do. It was just a shock. I didn’t know it would bring me back like that.”

He smiled softly. “Next time, you won’t be shocked. I’ll make sure to wear a plain old t-shirt and you’ll look at it all during our date. By the end of the night, it’ll be old hat.”

He grinned, a mischievous expression in his blue-grey eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I look forward to it.”

“Good.”

Then the driver took us to Dan’s house. Beckett sat close beside me, talking along the way about Brimstone, the company he created when he returned from the Middle East. When we arrived at Dan’s house, he kissed me once more, long and deep before I left the car. I stood on the front porch and watched the limo drive away.