If You Fall (Brimstone 1)

How strange to meet someone so much like Dan…

The next day, I met Leah at the restaurant for breakfast and sat on the deck, talking about the night before.

“So,” she said, wagging her eyebrows. “Was your night as hot as mine? Brandon’s a god. Beckett looks pretty damn hot, too.”

“We didn’t,” I said and couldn’t meet her eyes. I braced myself, for I knew what was coming.

To my surprise, she said nothing. I glanced at her and she was staring out at the ocean, which was calm and relatively quiet.

“You’re not going to say anything?” I said with shock. “You’re not going to tell me that I had to lose my re-virginity? That I needed to move on?”

She shrugged and then turned to face me with a sneaky smile. “I don’t have to. You said it all yourself.”

We smiled and I took a sip of my coffee, twirling Dan’s wedding ring on my middle finger. I wanted to talk about what happened. I waited for her to ask me.

“Tell me,” she said. “You know you want to…”

“He was so hot,” I said immediately. “We made it to his bed. He took off my dress, and I took off his shirt, and then, BAM. End of story.”

“Why? Was he deformed or something?”

I shook my head. “He has this scar,” I said and motioned to my neck to show her where on Beckett the scar was located. “It made me think of Dan and that put a stop to things.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweets,” she said and reached out to touch my arm. “I never saw any scar on him so I bet it came as a shock.”

“It did,” I said and nodded. “It looked like someone tried to behead him and that made me think of Dan and how he died.”

“Did you ask Beckett what

happened? How did he get it?”

I shook my head. “He didn’t want to talk about it,” I said. “I didn’t really want to talk about it either. I felt so awkward and embarrassed but he said it was shrapnel from an IED explosion.”

“What was he like? I mean, was he upset that you guys stopped?”

“He felt really bad but he was super nice and understanding. We’re having dinner tonight when I get off work. Maybe try again.”

“Oh, good,” she said and smiled. “You need it, hun, more than anyone I know.”

“I do,” I said with a laugh. “I’m in serious need of a babe like Beckett. Someone like him is a great sendoff to my old life and the start of my new one.”

She and I clinked our coffee cups together and sat watching the surf for the next fifteen minutes, until I needed to start the daily cash out from the night before. Dan’s mom, Jeanne, taught me to do the daily cash as a way for me to earn money and stay in Topsail Beach with them for the whole year so I didn’t have to go back and face real life. They understood that Dan was everything to me, besides my grandfather in Queens and my studies. Without Dan, I felt lost, without anything to ground me. Staying with them for the year I took off from my studies had been healing. They were both so understanding and loving.

It made up for the loss of Dan and an absent mother and dead father.

Now, I’d be moving to Manhattan to finish my degree – finally – and then do my internship. I’d apply for the FBI when I was done with my Master’s Degree, which was in another two years.

We cleared up our dishes and I went into the office while Leah went to the prep area to help get things ready for the lunch crowd.

Daily cash took about three hours total, so it was after lunch when I was finished. I had lunch with Leah once she had cashed out, and we sat back on the deck, off to the side once the other patrons had gone. “You’re working tonight?” she said, although she knew my shift as well as her own. “I’m off tonight and seeing Brandon for dinner and then we’re going to Milano’s again. He likes to dance as much as I do.”

“Yes. I get off at ten and we’re going to have a late dinner.”

“Good,” she said and squeezed my hand. “When you go back to Manhattan, you’ll be a brand new un-virginized woman, ready to face the future.”

“Un-virginized. Honestly,” I said with a grin, “I don’t know where you get your material.”

She stood, and leaned down, pecking me on the cheek. “I’m here every Thursday through Saturday.” She winked at me and then left me alone.