Holding His Forever

She bites her lips as if thinking on it. If she doesn’t have any family or friends, and all she had in the world was in that crappy apartment, then I’d venture a guess and say she doesn’t like taking handouts. She must want to work for what she’s got, or at least feel like she’s not trying to catch a free ride.

“Look, if you’d feel better about it, you can make him some cookies or something as a thank you. Unless you can’t cook, then maybe you could just clean the place as payment.”

Fia smiles at my words, and a spark of hope hits her eyes. She nods and then clears her throat.

“Yeah, that would be really great actually. It’s late, so the shelter is probably full for the night. I’m sure I can make arrangements in the next day or two.”

“Like I said, it stays empty for weeks at a time. Don’t worry about it. We’ll go by the fire station to get the key, and then to the apartment. I’ll take care of everything.”

It’s like another weight of bricks has been removed from her shoulders as she sighs with relief. I don’t know how long it’s been since someone has taken care of her, but I’m glad I’m the one doing it now.

I think she might be doing the same to me, too. For some reason, being near her pushes away my dark thoughts and keeps all the sadness that’s been consuming me at bay. Being in her presence has taken away all the cold inside and brought light and warmth to me. I don’t know what she’s doing, or how she’s doing it, but I don’t want it to stop. Maybe she really is an angel.

Just then, the nurse walks in and gives her the discharge papers. She explains in detail the signs to look for and the dangers of smoke inhalation. Once she’s released, I hold her hand and walk her out of the hospital.

She tries to pull her hand away once we’re outside, but I just hold it tighter. “No use in trying to get away now,” I say, giving her a wink.

Her cheeks flush red, but she just stands by my side, not fighting me.

“I don’t even know you,” she whispers as we stand at the curb. I throw my free hand out for a cab. We took the ambulance here, so this is the only way to get back to the station to get the keys.

A cab pulls up, and I open the back door for Fia, but she stands there a second before we get in.

“Do you trust me?” I ask, looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

For a second I panic, thinking about what she might say, but she gives me a small smile and puts her hand on my chest.

“I don’t know why, but yes, Derek, I trust you.”

I pull her hand off my chest and kiss her palm, feeling the warmth of her skin spread to my lips and through my body. Her touch does wild things to me. Smiling, I help her into the cab and give the driver the station address.

Then I stare at her, with the goofiest grin on my face, the whole way there.

7

Fia

“This place is really nice,” I say, looking over and up at Derek. He looks like a warrior towering over me, the top of my head barely meeting his shoulder. His dark hair is cut short. His facial features are all hard lines, but when a small smile pulls at his lips, his face completely changes, making his dark brown eyes seem soft. The ring of green on the outside of his irises seem to come to life. It makes me want to do something to make him smile again.

When I’d come stumbling out of my apartment, he was just standing there, looking like my savior. I thought for a moment he wasn’t real. Everything seemed to happen in a fog.

The only reason I’d woken up was because the sounds of the sirens had jolted me awake. Then I’d smelt the smoke, and everything became a fog. Literally and figuratively. There was only him, and everything went black until he was there again. Every time I opened my eyes, he was there, and I’d felt like everything was going to be okay in that moment. That I didn’t have to worry. As long as I kept hold of him, I’d be fine.

He’d kept me safe. A feeling I hadn’t had in a long time, one that left when my mother left this world. But the reality of it is, he isn’t mine, and I’m not sure I want to wake up from that fog and face the world again. Or take stock of what pieces of the world I used to have are now left.