Then again, the Feds believed her place was pretty dangerous all things considered. Her father had beaten the mob out of millions and millions of dollars. His enemies had already tried to exert revenge a few times. If her cousin Kane hadn’t been trying to keep a handle on her father’s whereabouts and his affairs, well…she shuddered to think where she and her sisters would be now.
Probably dead.
She jolted forward at the thought and shivered even more when a drawer opened and closed. A door creaked or maybe it was the floor. The farmhouse, while recently restored from what Coco had told her, still had some vintage characteristics.
Drina, like her sisters, had lived in the shadows of her father’s business. All of them were often spooked by things that would seem inconsequential or even silly to other people. Then again, most people hadn’t dealt with the mob. Just last year, her father’s enemies had sent a man named Handsome to stalk Brianna. Her sister had slept with him and he’d damn near killed her. There were other incidences, too, but she didn’t want to think about those now.
At the moment, she wanted to think happy thoughts.
Drina took a deep breath and tried to steady her trembling hands. She and Zak would need to discuss their living arrangements. She wasn’t sure she wanted to jump right into the fire there at the Blaziers’ place. Illicit fantasies ran through her mind by the half dozen. Dallas and Hales were part of those thoughts and she quickly pushed them aside. She was one hundred percent all in with Zak so sexual thoughts about his brothers didn’t make sense.
Yes, they should definitely stay at her house if a commitment was on the table. Sure, they might face unexpected dangers, but at least she wouldn’t have to worry about adultery. In a family like the Blaziers, a woman could definitely find a few temptations down the hall in one bedroom or another.
She shook off that intrusive idea, but quickly decided it was too risky to ask Zak to stay at her place. She never wanted to put his life in danger and regardless of the quiet and calm weeks in the recent past, her place would never be safe.
Come to think of it, she’d slept soundly there at the Blaziers’ home. She’d fallen asleep in Zak’s arms feeling a little agitated because of the lust, but she’d slept without fear. She hadn’t been afraid to close her eyes, terrified she might wake up with a knife at her throat.
Another drawer slammed across the room and she jumped. “Quit thinking so hard. I see those lips twisting and your hands trembling. Trust me. Everything will be okay.” He paused. “And keep your eyes closed.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Hmmm, now I like the way that sounds.”
“I bet you do.” That was another thing they hadn’t really discussed and she couldn’t understand why. From what she’d been told, Zak once played frequently at Paddles and Picnics. She’d heard he’d taken submissive women for play sessions, but supposedly hadn’t had a serious relationship. He was apparently active in the lifestyle, too, but she hadn’t seen that side of him.
They’d had normal run-of-the-mill typical dates. And now he wanted to marry her?
She took another huge breath and slowly released it. At times like these she wished she’d gone to yoga class with Gemma. She could use a few calming techniques at the moment. Instead, her angst gained the best of her.
Her heart hammered against her chest cavity and her stomach rumbled. She was aware of the perspiration at her pits and was tempted to lift her arm and sniff, just to be sure she’d remembered to put on deodorant.
“Don’t open your eyes yet.” He knelt in front of her. “All right. Here’s the way this is going to go. I’ve rehearsed this so let me say everything I want to say before you give me an answer. Okay?”
She nodded.
“That’ll do for now, but later we’ll chat about nods and headshakes. You can open your eyes now.”
Chapter Five
Her eyes sparkled like new money, the silver from the collar reflecting in her beautiful green eyes. Her lips quivered and she kept parting them and taking deep breaths. After a few barely audible whimpers, she said, “I’m trying to be patient here. You said to let you speak before I give you my answer.”
“I did. Didn’t I?” The expression on her face had rendered him speechless. There was a part of him that had worried how she might interpret the collar. Another part of him wondered whether or not she’d feel cheated in some way.
Zak had said he wanted to make an honest woman out of her and he hadn’t even thought about how she might have interpreted the offer. Had she hoped for a marriage proposal? Had she known he wanted to take their relationship from what appeared to be very vanilla into a substantial Dom-sub relationship?
“Can I touch it?” she asked, jerking him from the thoughts he should’ve considered before he had mentioned making an honest woman out of her.
“In a minute,” he said, bringing her outstretched fingers to his lips. After brushing each one with a kiss, he placed her hand on her knee, a knee now visibly trembling as much as those beautiful slender fingers, fingers he had wanted wrapped around him the night before, fingers he’d longed to let explore, tease and caress. It had taken his will and every ounce of determination he owned to wait for a more meaningful moment.
“Drina…” Now he needed a minute to catch his breath. He even had difficulty keeping his own eyes dry as he tried to keep his tears at bay. He studied the woman he loved, the woman he wanted completely, the woman he wanted to eventually own in every fathomable way possible. “I want you to be certain if you accept this collar and that’s why it’s important for me to explain the meaning.
“Some Doms use collars of consideration, one they often give to a potential sub in the early stages of their relationship. It’s worn for a specific agreed upon time and isn’t considered a lifetime commitment.” His voice was shaking. He couldn’t do anything about that no matter how
hard he tried or how much he stalled in between his words so he continued. “When we first met, I thought about a collar of consideration.” A dry chuckle escaped his lips. “I thought about it often actually, but you know how our relationship has developed and there were times when it made sense, but other times when it didn’t. We were under scrutiny and rarely had time alone anyway so I decided to wait until I was sure.” He stopped rambling. That wasn’t entirely the case. There was a bigger reason he hadn’t offered her the collar and it had nothing to do with him. “I wanted to wait until I was pretty sure you would accept.”
Her chest rose and fell. “I’m sure.” Her words were like a song, so softly delivered he wasn’t even sure she’d spoken them.
Zak continued then, more confident than before. She’d said she was sure. Hadn’t he expected her to accept all along? They were good together. They had a great relationship, open and honest communication and it had been that way since day one.