“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you but I have to go, and I need to do this alone.”
Matt hunched his shoulders and headed for his truck. He didn’t bother with goodbyes and was well aware that every single Simon in residence watched him leave. He bypassed the bunky and blotted out the memories created the night before.
He hopped into his truck and less than ten minutes later, Gravenhurst was in his rear view mirror. He rode in silence, his anger and frustration growing as his truck chewed up the miles. Each one of them bringing him closer to a past he wasn’t so sure he was ready to deal with.
27
Grace would have run after Matt. She would have tackled him, thrown her arms around him and begged him to take her with him. If he refused, she would have held on, even if it meant being dragged through the snow and ice and the gravel bits from the driveway.
She would have done whatever it took to be there for him. He needed her. Why didn’t he see that?
But her sister-in-law Betty Jo had other plans.
“Let go of me,” Grace snapped, pushing against Betty with everything she had. “I need to go to him.” But it was no use. Betty was tenacious and strong and she wasn’t giving an inch.
“Not a good idea, Grace. Trust me, if you crowd him now he’ll push back. He’ll push back hard.”
“But,” she sputtered, trying like hell to yank her arm from Betty’s grasp. “He needs someone. Didn’t you see his eyes? His face? It’s like there’s…like there’s…”
“It’s like there’s nothing there,” Betty said softly. “I know, Grace. I know Matt. I’ve known him since I can remember knowing anything or anyone who mattered.”
Matt’s truck roared down the driveway and disappeared from sight. Grace managed to free herself from Betty Jo but it was too late. She took a few steps but then her legs wobbled and she nearly fell on her ass. He was gone.
“I don’t believe this,” she whispered. Hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “We were having a good day. A good day…”
“Grace. I don’t know what to say. I…”
“Did you know about this? About Delilah? About this boy, Justin?” Grace whipped around to face her sister-in-law.
Betty Jo’s face was white and she slowly shook her head. “He hated Delilah for what she did to his family.” She wrapped her arms around herself and her teeth chattered.
“But what did she do?”
Betty’s eyes fell away and Grace’s stomach roiled. She was going to be sick. She took a step away, but couldn’t take her eyes from Betty. Her sister-in-law looked so sad. So heartbroken.
“Betty” Her voice broke. “What did she do?”
“Matt told me something once, when we were drunk or high, or probably both. He said something that’s always stuck with me.” Betty glanced over her shoulder but Grace’s family kept a respectful distance—they were too far away to hear their conversation. She made a noise, a painful, awful noise that tore at Grace’s heart.
“What did he tell you?”
Betty Jo was silent for so long that Grace thought she might have to beat it out of her. And considering the emotional state she was in, that was a real possibility.
“Matt told me that he hated Delilah more than he hated himself. And that he didn’t know if it was because he used to love her more than he loved himself.”
“But what does that mean?”
Betty shrugged. “I never asked him about it, and I’m sure he forgot what he said as soon as it came out of his mouth. You have to understand. Matt and I came together when we were both going through some pretty tough things. He’s my best friend. He knows things about me…things I shared with no one. But there’s a big part of his story that I don’t know.” She paused and wiped at her eyes. “And the ones that I do are heartbreaking and they’re not for me to share.”
Eden Simon appeared on the upper deck. She smiled down at everyone, oblivious to what had just happened, and announced that the turkey was ready. The Simon men headed up with the kids, leaving the two women alone.
“I can’t eat,” Grace said. “I can’t…” Her throat tightened and she clawed at her jacket, yanking the zipper down as she bent over. She saw the edge of Betty’s boot and shook her head violently. “Go away. I just want to be alone.”
“I’ll tell your mom you’re not feeling well.” Betty took a few steps and paused. “Matt is worth saving. I’m just not sure he’ll let you. I’m not sure he’ll let anyone.”
Grace didn’t answer. She ran for the bunky, closed herself in and rested against the door. It took a good long while for her to catch her breath and when she finally did, a guttural cry fell from her lips and she crashed onto the bed. It still smelled like him.
She squeezed her eyes closed and cried her heart out.