Her
world had just changed and Grace had no idea how to fix it. She had no idea how to fix Matt.
She must have fallen asleep for hours because it was dark when her swollen eyes finally opened. Grace rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She felt heavy—as if she would sink through the bed, melt into the floor and disappear altogether.
She’d been through some bad breakups before. Ones that had left her feeling sorry for herself and more than a little lost. But none of that compared to what she was feeling right now. With Matt gone, knowing he was hurt and alone and angry—she felt so damn helpless.
Why hadn’t she told him how she felt? She loved the man, for God sake. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
Grace swung her feet over the edge of the bed and sat up, groaning as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Just then a knock at the door sounded and her mother walked in.
Eden Simon turned on the lamp and immediately enfolded Grace in her arms. Grace might have cried. She might have poured her heart out right then and there. But she had nothing left inside and no clue what to say.
“He’s gone.” That was all she had.
Her mother stroked her forehead and kissed her cheek. “I know.”
The two women rocked together in silence and Grace was grateful to have a loving, giving mother to hold on to. What had Matt ever had? As a young child had his mother wiped his brow and told him everything was going to be okay? Had his father kissed him and tucked him in at night? Had he known real love?
The sad truth was, she didn’t know. And it was the not knowing that fired her up.
“I have to go to him.” She pulled away from her mother. “I need to go to him.”
Eden was quiet for a few moments. She brushed back the mess of hair that hung over Grace’s eyes and tucked it behind her ear.
“You love him,” her mother whispered, sadness making her eyes shiny and wet.
Grace nodded. “I thought I knew what love was. What real love was. But I was so wrong. This thing between Matt and me…This love that I have for him is different. I guess it’s why it hurts more. Wanting to go after him is not just about being hurt that he left. It’s about knowing him and knowing he has some pretty awful things to deal with. It’s about knowing he thinks he needs to deal with them on his own. That breaks my heart.”
“He might reject you. If you go. That’s a real possibility.”
“I know. But what kind of person doesn’t at least try? Even knowing they might get hurt more than they already are?”
Grace watched her mother closely and saw something unexpected in her eyes. Sorrow.
Her mother cleared her throat and appeared to struggle to find the words. “When I was twenty-one I met a man who changed my life. And no it wasn’t your father.” A soft smile touched her face. “That came later.”
Eden played with the edge of the coverlet and glanced out the window into the dark. “His name was Ransome Belmont. He was the son of the foreman who worked Cousin Pierre’s sugar cane plantation. He was tall and handsome and so full of life. A real devil and up until that time the most exciting man I’d ever met. I fell for him the minute I laid eyes on him.”
“You never told me this.”
Eden shook her head. “It’s not a nice story to tell. You see, Ransome had his demons. He liked to gamble almost as much as he liked his bourbon. I didn’t notice it at first. Was too caught up in being in love. My mother warned me off and promised never to tell Daddy if I stopped seeing him. So I lied to my own mother and we carried on in secret. You see, she didn’t know him the way I did. She didn’t see what he was like when we were alone at the swimming hole. Or sneaking out to dance until dawn. She didn’t know…”
“His gambling and drinking got worse and near the end, I was stealing jewels from your grandmother’s collection so we could pawn them for money to pay back his debts. The day that I stole my mother’s emerald ring, one that had been passed down over three generations, I found Ransome in bed with two of my so-called girlfriends. He was drunk and of course filled with shame. He threw the girls out. He begged for forgiveness. But I was hurt and having none of it. I was done forgiving him. I left and he never got the ring. That night I heard he’d been beaten so badly they didn’t think he was going to live.”
“Did he live?”
She nodded. “He did. He came by the house a few months later, but I refused to see him. He wrote letters. He called. But I refused all of it. He broke my heart and killed my pride. Made me question myself. That scenario repeated itself for nearly a year until he hung himself on Christmas Eve.”
“Oh, Mom.” Grace laid her head on her mother’s chest. “I’m so sorry that happened.”
“A few months passed and I pulled out those letters. I read every word of every one and I realized that maybe if I’d gone to him, if I’d helped him, he might not have taken his life. He hurt me, yes, but I still had all those afternoons at the swimming hole. I still had the good part that was him. The part that wasn’t eaten away by his addictions.”
Eden pulled at a loose thread and hugged her daughter. “I’ll never know if I could have saved Ransome, because I wasn’t strong enough to live through the very real possibility of being hurt again.” She kissed the top of Grace’s head. “I think that you’re stronger than me.”
Grace peered up into her mother’s eyes. “You’re crazy. You’re the strongest woman that I know.”
Eden shrugged, a tremulous smile on her face. “Maybe. But you, my darling, are stronger. So go to this man who’s managed to win your heart. Be there for him. And I pray to God that he’s worthy. I hope that he accepts your support and will return it in kind when needed.”