A Barker Family Christmas (The Barker Triplets 3.50)

“You say that now,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. “But what about five years from now? Don’t you want easy? Things are always so hard for us and I’m not making it any easier. But I don’t know how to change me.”

“It’s all right. Hard can be good. Hard means that there are real feelings involved. The thing is, Bobbi, we’re both flawed and probably always will be. I’m good with that. I don’t want easy. It’s not my thing, and I sure as hell know it’s not yours. So if we don’t make it. If we don’t end up together. It’s not going to be because I’m not trying to hold on to the pieces.” Shane’s expression was fierce. “It’ll be because you let go. I can hold on babe. I can hold on longer than any man you’ll ever meet. But I can only hold on for so long by myself.”

“Oh Shane,” Bobbi whispered.

But he shook his head and she fell silent.

“You have to stop running when things get complicated, because I gotta tell ya, Bobbi, we’re fucking complicated. We’re messy and loud. We argue a lot and then we make up. We yell and then we make love until we yell again. It’s what we do. It’s how we are. It’s how we’re wired. It’s not for everyone, but that’s when things are good for us. You get that, right?”

He moved closer and Bobbi lifted her chin and nodded.

“Yeah. I get that.”

“I’m not perfect. In fact, I’m far from it.” Shane said hoarsely, running his hands over the stubble on his chin. “But you and I are the same. We’re made up of raw emotion and most of the time, we act before we think. We’re flesh and bone and want and need. We’re not smooth lines or perfectly executed corners that fit together. We’ve got to fight to keep those pieces in line. We’ve got to fight to keep them strong. But isn’t that what love is? Fighting? Isn’t love about staying in that fight when things get rough? Isn’t it about staying here with me, emotionally and physically, even when you want to run?”

Bobbi’s eyes overflowed and she wiped at the corners. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Then stop goddamn running, Bobbi, because I’m tired and I need to know that we’re in this together.”

She slammed into his chest before he finished speaking.

Bobbi bit her tongue in an effort to keep herself from crying like a baby, but it was no use. When his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his warmth, she sobbed. And when his mouth blew hot breath against her neck and he kissed the tattoo that was there, she shuddered, whimpering uncontrollably.

“I’m with you,” she managed to say through her tears. “I’m so with you.”

“I know,” he murmured. “ I know.”

“I’m sorry, Shane. It’s just been hard with Dad getting worse and Gramps and Christmas and…I want you to be happy and…that’s all I ever wanted.”

His fingers crept under her chin, forcing her eyes upward. “Don’t,” he said roughly. “There is no happy unless we’re together, Bobbi. You and me. That’s all that matters.”

Bobbi’s throat constricted and she had to wait a moment before she could speak. “I love you, Shane Gallagher. So much. It’s kind of scary, you know?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, lowering his mouth until he was a breath away from hers. “I know.”

His mouth slid across hers, a soft whisper—a touch that calmed her—and she felt something inside her melt. He knew her better than any person on the planet, and that included her sisters. She was done. Emotionally done. Physically done.

Just done.

Shane scooped her into his arms and set her on the edge of her bed. Carefully he undressed her and then slid in behind her, pulling the covers over them as Bobbi snuggled into his chest. He held her until she stopped shivering.

His hands moved over her body, rubbing her shoulders and kneading the knots in her back. She closed her eyes and let his warmth roll over her skin. She let his touch soothe the pain that wasn’t visible.

And as the wind and snow and ice continued to pound the house, Bobbi eventually relaxed enough to fall asleep.

They were good.

Things were going to be okay.

She wouldn’t think about Betty’s wedding, or her chipped nails or the fact that the flowers hadn’t arrived from Ecuador. Flowers that Bobbi had ordered late because she’d been so distracted. Flowers that Betty claimed were the only ones she’d walk down the aisle with.

Bobbi drifted off to sleep, content and warm, and for the first time in weeks, without an ounce of fear.

Chapter Four

Two days until Christmas…

Shane woke just as first light was beginning to peek through the frosted windows of Bobbi’s room. The air was chilly, but he was warm beneath the pink and green comforter. Bobbi was still asleep, nestled against his chest where she belonged. He settled back, content to hold her—content listening to her breathe.