He laughed. “Don’t try that crap with me, Rowan. I want that son of a bitch to pay as much as you do . . . I’m just not willing to sacrifice our mother in order to achieve that goal.”
He didn’t understand. He’d never understand.
“Kellen, I need to find the James grimoire. She’s the only one who knows where it is since she’s the one who sold it for drug money.” Her voice rang bitterly. “It wasn’t hers to give. You know that. She broke Nana’s heart.”
He swore. “There has to be another way.”
“There isn’t.”
He expelled a long breath and shook his head. “You nearly destroyed her last time. You would have—”
“If not for you.” She finished for him. Her chest constricted, and she moved, startled, as the orange tabby suddenly appeared, weaving its way between her legs. For such a small thing, it purred like a tiger.
“You lied to me, Rowan. You lied to Mom, then you nearly destroyed her. For what? A book?” He laughed, a harsh sound that made her wince. “You don’t even know if it holds whatever you need to defeat Mallick.”
“It does,” she said stubbornly.
His eyes narrowed. “How can you be sure? Don’t you think someone else would have used it before now?”
“No one was ever strong enough.”
He cocked his head to the side. “And you think you are?”
“I’ve no choice. I have to be. He brought this fight to my door when he killed Nana. He won’t stop until . . .” She exhaled and picked up the tabby, who now meowed and rubbed its head against her chin. “I refuse to be Mallick’s bitch, Kellen, and I’ll die before another drop of James blood is spilled.”
“You’re blind to him right now. Leave and the rest of us will go underground.”
“And spend the rest of your lives running?” She motioned behind him. “What about this place? It’s been in our family for generations. I can’t let him win. I can’t let him take that from me.”
“Rowan, you’ve been gone for six years. What do you care?”
“I care,” she whispered fiercely.
He stared at her for a few more seconds, his expression unreadable. “What if you’re not strong enough, Ro? What if . . .” His voice trailed off, and he glanced away, hands fisted at his side.
“Then God help us.” Because we’re all doomed.
Silence enveloped the both of them.
“Can’t you use a locator spell? Like the one you used to find the asylum?” There was a note of resignation in his voice, and she glanced up, shaking her head.
“No.” She grimaced. “I would have done that before, Kellen. I don’t have anything to locate it with.” Her voice grew steely. “Marie-Noelle needs to remember who or what she gave it to. She needs to make this right.”
“Even if it means she loses her sanity again? Rowan, she’s almost back. Have you talked to her?” Suddenly the man Kellen had grown into was no more, and the small boy, the brother she remembered from her youth, gazed back at her, his blue eyes earnest, full of hope.
“Briefly, last night.”
His eyes darkened, his mouth thinned. “That’s right. But you didn’t have the time or decency to at least let her know that her own mother was gone.”
Rowan stared at her brother and saw the accusation in his eyes. For the first time a small tingle of regret tugged at her heart. She remained silent. What was there to say?
“Why do you hate her so much?” The question was direct, and by the look in Kellen’s eyes he wasn’t going to let it go.
“I don’t hate her.”
“You lie.”
“No,” Rowan shook her head. “I’ve never . . .” But as the wall of emotion inside her broke she realized that he was right. Hate might be a strong word choice, but it sure as hell came close to describing the complicated mess of feelings she had for her mother.