Hopeless Heart

“Promise me,” she persisted.

“I promise,” Theresa replied.

“I intend to live with my aunt,” Georgiana stated flatly. “I need to get away from here. My Aunt Ruth is the only person in the family who will understand my situation and has a strong enough aversion to Cecily to offer me a roof over my head. Thankfully, I have funds now that I am one and twenty to not only get there but pay for my upkeep while there.”

“You don’t sound as though you intend to come back,” Theresa said warily.

“I don’t intend to,” Georgiana sighed.

“There is something more,” Theresa replied, eyeing her friend’s hesitation warily.

“I don’t intend to tell my parents I am going,” Georgiana added calmly but firmly.

Theresa was shocked. “You can?

??t just leave. What will they say? They might send the magistrate after you.”

“For doing what, visiting a relative?” Georgiana shook her head. “Even Cecily wouldn’t be able to harangue the magistrate into bothering with anything like that.”

“So why not tell them?” Theresa protested.

“Because they won’t allow me to go, that’s why,” Georgiana snapped. “Cecily hates my father’s side of the family. She would never agree to it, so I am not going to tell them.”

“So you intend to just leave?” Theresa cried.

“Yes.” Georgiana’s chin tipped up in defiance. “I don’t care what they say. This is not their life it is mine. I am not going to spend any more of my life being dictated to by Cecily. I can’t breathe, Theresa. It is too much. I need to get away before I go stark raving mad.”

Theresa stared at her. “You mean it, don’t you?”

Georgiana nodded. “There are a lot of things I want to do with my life, Theresa. If I stay here, I am never likely to get to do any of it.”

“Like what?” Theresa asked curiously.

In quite an unladylike manner, both of them hitched their skirts higher and climbed a small gate beside them, into a small meadow located next to a narrow stream. Away from prying eyes, it was somewhere they usually went when the weather permitted just to talk confidentially about things they wouldn’t otherwise be able to discuss with other people present.

Once beside the stream, they settled down in their customary places. Theresa took a seat on what she called her ‘thinking stone’ while Georgiana lay on the grass beside her.

“What on earth has gotten into you?” Theresa asked as she stared at her boots.

“I want to live, that’s all. You don’t know what it is like to have to live with my mother. Everything I do is questioned; everything I wear is given to me. If I dare to wear something that my mother doesn’t consider quite right I am ordered to change it and nagged relentlessly until I do. It’s hopeless to try to be myself. Now, she has heard that Will is going to marry Penelope Smedgrove and will be insufferable about weddings.”

“What?” Theresa cried.

Georgiana sat up and looked at her friend’s horror. “I only heard about it this morning from Cecily who heard it from his mother last night. Apparently, although she is without issue, theirs is to be a speedy union. He doesn’t want to wait.”

“Oh, Georgiana,” Theresa said softly.

Tears welled. Georgiana flopped back down on the grass in a desperate attempt to try to stop them from falling.

“I need to get out of here,” Georgiana whispered sadly. “I can’t stay for the wedding, and I cannot stay in that house while my mother carps on daily about how wonderful it all is, and throws herself into the outfits we are going to wear.”

“Of course you can’t,” Theresa murmured sympathetically. Silence settled between them as she contemplated Georgiana’s shock announcement. “You are at least going to a relation, I suppose, so it can’t be considered too bad, can it? You should have a companion for the journey though. But, as long as you don’t take any unnecessary risks there can’t be that much in the way of danger can there?”

Georgiana shrugged unconcernedly. “Whatever the danger, I would much rather face that than another moment in that house now.”

“What about the wedding? Your mother will insist on you coming back for it,” Theresa said softly.

Georgiana’s uncharacteristic snort spoke volumes about her newfound contempt for the man who brought her so much hurt. “I am not going to his wedding. He can marry whoever he chooses as long as I am not expected to sit in the congregation.”