Adoration
Page 3
the hopes that one of them might get drunk enough to offer for her. The problem was that he was the kind of man who liked his peace, and space, and at the grand age of one and thirty didn’t have all that many single friends left to invite.
‘Mariette can be incredibly foolish sometimes. She doesn’t seem to realise how much things like this cost, or how much work or distress it causes others. As long as she gets what she wants someone else can pay the price,’ Morgan muttered.
‘There is a good turnout. Plenty of people have travelled for miles to attend. I hear that it is the gossip of the Season. An invitation to your ball is the most coveted of prizes.’
‘God, you really must get better gossip,’ Morgan growled.
‘It is true. Because you don’t have social functions very often securing an invitation to your ball is a valuable prize indeed. That should say something about how well you are regarded in society at the very least,’ Ralph offered. ‘By way of commiseration that is. There has to be at least one benefit from something like this hasn’t there?’
‘Yes, I suppose, but at what cost? I will consider it a damned blessing if my house is still standing in the morning,’ Morgan grunted.
Ralph grinned but his smile swiftly faded. He was still doubtful that it was a good idea to broach the subject but, after a moment or two of hesitation, he took a breath and broached the topic anyway. ‘Was she invited?’
Although Morgan’s face didn’t betray one hint of emotion, he froze and slowly turned to glare at Ralph. He knew exactly who ‘she’ was. At first, he tried to block all thoughts of her out. He failed – miserably.
‘Yes. She was invited,’ Morgan replied darkly.
‘Did she accept? I didn’t see her in there,’ Ralph pressed. He didn’t tell his good friend that he had taken up position by the entrance hall and had watched everyone arrive. He knew she hadn’t arrived.
Morgan shook his head.
‘Did Mariette send the invitation?’ Ralph asked.
‘Mother did. She paid them a visit and hand delivered it herself,’ Morgan whispered. ‘They said they would be delighted to come but I am not sure if mother received apologies or something since.’
‘But she hasn’t turned up tonight.’
Morgan sighed and didn’t answer. He glared back at the house, as if it was the large, sprawling property’s fault that it was empty of the one woman he most wanted to see.
‘There are about two hundred and fifty people in that house about half of which I don’t even know and have never met before. Those I do know are passing acquaintances. We are not good friends. They are, however, all highly regarded in society but, right now, I don’t give a damn if I never set eyes on any of them again. This damned evening has taken weeks to arrange. It has cost a veritable fortune and far too many servants to pull together. Even so, I would trade it all for just one hour with her here tonight.’
Ralph stared at the trees bordering the manicured garden they were sitting beside. Everything was pristine; the lawn was neatly cut; the bushes had been trimmed to perfection. Even the flowers in the borders stood militarily upright as if not daring to droop. Even so, ball aside, Ralph new that Morgan’s life was far from perfect.
‘You cannot go on like this. You need some sort of distraction,’ Ralph suggested when he saw Morgan’s misery.
‘Don’t you dare suggest I find a lover. The last time I followed your advice I ended up nearly having to marry the damned chit,’ Morgan snarled.
‘When was the last time you saw her?’
‘That harridan?’
‘Sissy.’
‘Last week. She went into the village for provisions,’ Morgan admitted, carefully not mentioning that he had made a point of being in the village when he had known he was most likely to see her.
‘So you made sure you were there to see her.’ Ralph guessed anyway. He knew that for someone like Morgan to go to town specifically to see a woman made his interest more meaningful than he was letting on.
‘I have tried not to,’ Morgan admitted with a heavy sigh. ‘Before you tell me to do something rash like go to London for several months, I warn you now that I have tried that. I have tried to take lovers and lose myself in other women but nothing works. Sissy is always there, deep in the back of my mind, waiting to haunt me. Lovers make me feel guilty. I always end up thinking about Sissy, wishing it was her with me, and regretting what had happened with the other woman, even though I am a single man who is free to roam. Going away makes me want to come back just to see her. Moreover, I am angry that I must leave my home to try to get her out of my head in the first place. It’s hopeless.’
‘But that’s the problem. Sissy is in your head. You cannot out-run this, Morgan. Wherever you go she will be there because she is in here.’ Rather than tap his head, Ralph tapped the centre of his chest.
Morgan knew that Ralph was aware of his infatuation with the curiously delightful Miss Sissy Finchley, a somewhat impoverished woman from the other side of the village. He just didn’t think that Ralph knew just how much Morgan had fallen for the ineligible Sissy Finchley.
‘Why her? I mean, you have a ballroom packed full of stunning women, all highly coiffed, well connected, well-bred, and charming, yet you want someone you cannot have,’ Ralph murmured. ‘Is it that you are, secretly, trying to tell yourself that you want a challenge? Maybe it is just that your life is a little – staid? Maybe you are secretly just yearning for something different, and Sissy is it because she is of marriageable age but not in your somewhat boring world.’
‘Are you calling me boring?’ Morgan lifted one dark slash of a brow and glared regally at his friend but then ruined it with a grin. ‘Life is bloody boring. Touring the ballrooms of ton makes me want to go and count the curls on the wallpaper. It is far more interesting than listening to someone I don’t like very much extol some young woman’s virtues in the hopes that I might be stupid enough to marry her. It is always the same thing. Meet and greet, circle and mingle, pretend to smile and chat with people who I don’t like very much about shit I really couldn’t give a damn about. Watch the clock go around and wait not so patiently for the moment that I can leave and get home so I can be myself again. It is bloody ridiculous.’
‘So leave it all behind,’ Ralph urged. ‘I confess that I am not as wealthy as you but I am far more content with my lot. My town house is far smaller than your mansion but is more than enough for me. I need to count the pennies and have a less complicated kind of life than you but I don’t have the problems either.’ He glanced over his shoulder at the house. ‘Do you ever think about giving it all up and going away? Just leaving it all behind and being someone else for a while?’