Adoration

‘God, yes. Every damned day. The walls are so thick in that house that sometimes I wonder if I have any more freedom within them than a prisoner in gaol. I mean, I am woken up at six sharp and presented with the same breakfast every day. Precisely forty-five minutes later, Harries arrives to prepare my wardrobe. I read the newspaper in my office, deal with my mail, and then leave to sort out estate matters. Each day is the damned same. The only break to the routine are the social functions I am dragged to, and I say ‘dragged’ because if I had a choice I wouldn’t bother with any of them. They are tedious, boring as Hell. All of it makes me wonder what the purpose of it all is. One day, I am going to die and leave it all behind for some poor sap to take over. The problem is, I don’t think I am ever going to look back on my life and be proud of what I have achieved. I was handed this estate to run by my grandfather but I haven’t had to set anything up or really establish anything. It was already running smoothly before I moved in. I am just another backside sitting in the office seat with the title of Lord before me; someone who approves what the tenant farmers request. I need to do something more worthwhile with my time. I need a purpose.’

‘You don’t think a wife and family would bring you that.’

‘God, no.’

‘Not unless you can have Sissy as your wife and a family with her,’ Ralph sighed.

Morgan contemplated that. ‘I don’t think that even Sissy could make me want to stay in this kind of life. It is suffocating. There is nothing to do.’

‘Maybe that is the problem? Maybe it is the fact that persuading Sissy to see you as a man rather than the Lord of the realm is a challenge.’

‘It is more than that. I felt this way about her when I was fifteen years old. Each day it has grown with me. I cannot stop it,’ Morgan hissed. ‘Believe me, I have tried.’

‘Well, hiding out here isn’t going to solve anything, is it? Sissy isn’t here. I doubt she will turn up now, especially if she sees how many are here. Besides, that lot in there would eat her alive if she did turn up. Sissy is nice, kind, gentle. She isn’t prepared for life amongst the vultures in your ballroom. They would eat her, spit her out, and move on to the next victim without even pausing for breath.’ Ralph met Morgan’s steady stare. ‘Remember that. Bringing her into your world might just destroy the very thing that you love. If you take any creature out of its natural environment it can die.’

Morgan took a long swig of the brandy in his bottle and stared moodily out across the water as it burnt a trail down to his stomach. It hovered there and made him feel sick. So much so, he glared at the bottle and dropped it onto the grass beside him. Eventually, he couldn’t stand it any longer and launched to his feet.

‘Venturing back inside to wrestle with the matchmaking mama’s, are you? You are a very brave man, I will give you that much, Morgan,’ Ralph sighed as he pushed to his feet.

‘No. I am going to see if Sissy has arrived. If she hasn’t, I think it is high time I went to find out why she is not here,’ Morgan replied firmly. ‘I mean, if mother and Mariette didn’t think she would be able to mingle with the other guests they wouldn’t have invited her. They aren’t into ritual humiliation of the

impoverished in our village.’

‘But they are impoverished,’ Ralph replied.

‘Yes, I know that,’ Morgan snapped. ‘Sissy and her aunt might have fallen upon hard times but it was through no fault of their own. They were once well connected and moved about in the same circles mother still frequents. Norma used to attend balls just like this one. It isn’t anything new to her.’

‘But Sissy was what, fifteen when her father died?’

‘She was about to have her coming out but it all got cancelled.’

Ralph sighed heavily. ‘But even so, the social functions she attended before then were few and far between and nothing like your ball.’

Morgan stopped and turned to face his friend. ‘Just what are you saying?’

‘That Sissy isn’t used to functions or life in a house like yours, Morgan.’

Morgan stubbornly refused to accept what Ralph was hinting at. ‘There is no reason why my mother couldn’t teach her what she needs to know about surviving in a house like mine, or running it, or even attending social functions like this one.’

‘But Sissy clearly doesn’t want to or she would be here,’ Ralph argued.

Morgan mentally cursed because he knew that Ralph was right. ‘Maybe something has happened to one of them.’

‘Well, you won’t know until you go and see if they are all right. What I think you should ask yourself before you go charging off to make sure she is alive and well is why you have not done something about the way you feel about her before now.’

Morgan contemplated that but could see no reason to lie to his friend. Ralph knew everything anyway. When he spoke, his voice was full of the harsh reality of his situation and was somewhat cold. ‘Because I know how badly the odds are stacked against us ever being able to find happiness.’

CHAPTER THREE

Sissy stared out of the window of the sitting room at the empty street beyond. Opposite, a long row of terrace houses each had lights on. They all looked warm, cosy, occupied, and inviting. Sissy, meanwhile, sat in a darkened house which was sparsely furnished, cold, and far too quiet.

‘Are you there, Sissy?’

Sissy sighed heavily. ‘Yes, Aunt Norma. I am downstairs. What’s wrong?’

‘Have you seen my shawl, dear?’

‘It is on the end of your bed, Aunt Norma. I am sure you can lean down and reach it.’ Sissy struggled to keep her impatience out of her voice. She knew her aunt was perfectly capable of finding her shawl. It was right where she could see it. Norma, her mother’s sister, was just in need of company that was all and wanted Sissy to go upstairs to provide it.