He scowled and sank deep into the tub until his head was beneath the water. Holding his breath for as long as he could while he tried to reason out the fierce ache that had settled in the middle of his chest. He had done what he promised and delivered her to Peter. He could go on his way now, knowing she was going to be well looked after. His emotions were purely due to nothing more than a knee-jerk reaction to living with her in such close quarters and facing constant danger together. Nothing more.
She was beautiful, that was without question. The image of her near nakedness sitting across the table swam to the forefront of his mind and his body hardened in readiness. It was inevitable that he would physically desire such an attractive woman, especially given she was the only female in the vicinity, but was love driving him? Or the need to take and possess what he had so readily fought for?
Surging out of the water, he gasped and shook water out of his eyes, staring at the wall as he considered what he actually wanted out of life. He still wasn’t comfortable with the prospect but at some point in his life he would have to marry. He was Earl to a title and wo
uld have to see to the continuation of the Earldom and estates. Would it be so bad being married to someone like Eliza?
She was brave. She had faced the ordeal of the past few days with a stoical calm and endless fortitude that was impressive. She hadn’t screamed and swooned; she had gritted her teeth and endured everything that had been thrown at her. He was incredibly lucky that she had been beside him. The men he had faced would have overwhelmed him with anyone less logical, less cool in the face of adversity.
Edward scowled at the wall and considered the turmoil rumbling within him. Having any woman throw his own wants and needs into confusion was everything he had intended to avoid. He shouldn’t be surprised or perplexed that Eliza had brought such trouble into his life; she was a female after all. A small part of him resented her for having such a profound effect on him seemingly without trying. She was fast asleep on the huge bed, oblivious to his emotional confusion.
If he remained with the group and escorted her to Padstow, he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her. They would undoubtedly make love and the question of marriage would be a mute point; they would be expected to marry regardless of emotions being engaged, or reality of their suitability. His brothers had already assumed that he had bedded Eliza, and hadn’t bothered to question whether they should share a room having only hired four rooms in one wing of the inn.
Although he cared about her, he couldn’t be certain it was love and more importantly love that was strong enough to make him want to spend the rest of his life with her. The circumstances over the past few days had made it impossible to really get to know her, but it was impossible to keep any distance between them given their sleeping arrangements.
It really left him with only one option.
He ran a weary hand down his face and wondered if he had the strength to ride away and leave her.
Chapter Eight
Later that night, Eliza awoke with a raging thirst. She couldn’t remember much about her arrival at the inn other than the group of large, overpowering males that had towered over her with varying degrees of concern on their faces.
Now, having had some sleep, she was thirsty and hungry. There was no water jug in her room, and Eliza was loathed to ring for a maid. She didn’t want to cause any commotion just for some water and quickly dressed to go in search of the tap room or kitchens for a drink.
She had no idea what time it was, but the tap was dark and deserted, the regular patrons having long since left in search of their beds. As she moved down the darkened corridor towards the back of the inn and the kitchens, she passed the door to the private parlour.
The sound of Edward’s raised voice from within made her pause. She briefly considered knocking but the sounds of heated argument made her pause and shrink back against the wall. She quickly glanced up and down the corridor and with only a small pang of guilt, listened to Edward vent his fury.
“Look, I’ve done my bit, now I need to go and start to build my estates. You two are the smuggler bashers, not me.” Edward’s voice was hard and impatient.
“But you know her Edward; we are merely strangers to her. She is more likely to trust you than us.” Dominic argued, watching the stubborn tilt of his young brother’s chin with frustration.
“I said if I found her then I would bring her to you Peter. Although I didn’t find Jemima, Eliza knows more than she is letting on. You need to tell her what you have found out about Jemima and let Eliza help you search. You don’t need me.” Edward held his hands out imploringly as he stared at his brother-in-law. “I have to get back to start work on my estates. While I am here they aren’t earning anything. I’ve got cattle appearing at the end of the month and nowhere to put them.”
Sebastian snorted. “You’re clutching at straws brother mine.” He drawled, knowing Edward was trying to evade something that bothered him, and was failing miserably. “You’re in love with her.”
“No I am not.” Edward turned to glare at his brother. “She is pretty, I’ll grant you. But I don’t love her, or have any attraction to her.” He mentally winced at that small lie, but continued to glare defensively at everyone. “She is nice, but a bundle of trouble and I have absolutely no intention of getting involved with anyone, let alone someone like Eliza.”
Silence descended for several minutes, and Eliza was about to move away from the door when Sebastian’s next question made her pause.
“Someone like Eliza. You mean someone beautiful, intelligent; someone who challenges you and makes you reconsider what you want out of life?” Sebastian quirked a brow, thinking of Amelia’s impact on his own life.
Edward flinched at Sebastian’s brutally accurate assessment of his deepest emotions.
“Have you had her yet?”
Edward sighed and glared at his brother. “Of course not, what do you take me for? Just because we have spent much of the past few days alone, doesn’t mean I will sleep with her just for the hell of it. I have no intention of getting involved with her; emotionally or physically.” His voice was cold and flat, brooking no argument. “She’s your problem now. She wants to go to Padstow. You two have past experience with smugglers, not me. You lot can take her.”
Eliza’s heart clenched painfully in her chest and she felt a sense of embarrassment at his abrupt rejection. Although he hadn’t voiced his thoughts directly to her, she felt a sting of humiliation at his lack of interest in her. All the while every thought, every feeling, every fibre of her being had been locked on him over the past few days with such intensity she wasn’t sure where he ended and she began.
He had fought and killed to protect her. With the trouble she had caused him, she couldn’t really blame him for wanting to get away from her as soon as the opportunity arose. But to hear his declaration that she wasn’t attractive to him shattered her heart into a thousand tiny pieces. As she stood in the darkness of the empty corridor, her heart turned to dust at her feel, she had no doubt it would be best for both of them if he left at the first opportunity. Having heard him deny an attraction towards her it was going to be impossible to have the same easy-going familiarity they had shared over the past few days.
She could only be grateful he had been a gentleman and not taken what she had so unwittingly offered by baring herself so blatantly to him over the dining table the other day. She cringed inwardly at the memory of his awkwardness, the reasons behind it now perfectly clear.
As she slowly moved away from the door, she felt a sense of loneliness that brought tears to her eyes. By the time she reached the door to her room, steady rivulets scalded the pale coolness of her cheeks. Her breath locked in her throat as she tried to suppress the sobs locked there. Closing the door to her room behind her carefully, she took a few moments to lock it before locking the connecting door too. She climbed back into bed without her drink; no matter how thirsty she was, there was no way she was going to ask Edward Cavendish for anything again.
Sleep was a long time coming. Vaguely she heard heavy footsteps in the corridor some considerable time later as the men went in search of their beds.