She had no idea that while she was busy sobbing in rejected misery into her pillow, they were downstairs planning the next few days with military precision.
The following morning was awkward and painful for Eliza. Having overheard a conversation she wished she had never been privy to, it was almost impossible to pretend not to know anything. As a result, she was stilted and cautious with the men as they gathered in the private sitting room for breakfast. She refused to make eye contact with Edward and as they ate, had resorted to one word replies to their attempts to engage her in conversation. Eventually they gave in and lapsed into an awkward silence that did little to help anyone’s appetites.
“We made some plans last night Eliza.” Dominic ventured when their dishes had been cleared away and they were left alone once more to finish their tea.
“Oh?” She fought the instinctive urge to glance at Edward, and instead kept her steady gaze on Dominic, determined not to show any sign of emotion at the news she knew he was going to impart.
“Sebastian has to go back to Leicestershire to look after Amelia, his wife and Isobel, my wife.” Eliza gave him a ghost of a smile and nodded. “Edward has pressing estate matters he needs to attend to and will leave with him.”
“Alright.” She was proud that her voice gave nothing of her roiling emotions away and she couldn’t restrain the quick glance she flicked at him before turning back towards Dominic.
“Peter and I will escort you to Padstow, then we will all return to Leicestershire. For the time being I think it would be best if you resided with my wife and me at Havistock Hall in Leicestershire. We are close enough to Derby for you to help Peter search for Jemima, yet far enough away to be safe from the men who are chasing you.”
Eliza couldn’t see any flaw in their plan to give her cause to argue, even if she wanted to.
“Will you be alright to continue to ride astride, or do we need to arrange a carriage?” Peter queried, eyeing her breeches cautiously.
“I will be fine riding.” Eliza sighed and finished the remainder of her water quickly. “When do you want to leave?”
“How is your arm this morning?” Edward murmured, studying the dark bruising on her forearm with a frown of concern.
“Fine, thank you.”
She didn’t miss the frowns that passed between the men at her ready acceptance to their plans but refused to explain her behaviour. She could hardly tell them she had overheard their conversation and learnt more than she needed to.
Briefly she wondered where Edward had slept last night. She had locked the doors behind her last night, barring his access to the bed they should have shared. Mentally shaking her head, she cursed herself for being a fool and worrying about him at all. He was a grown man who was perfectly capable of l
ooking after himself; he didn’t need or want her.
“Eliza, might I have a word alone with you for a moment?” Edward’s voice was low as he stood and clearly expected her to accompany him from the room.
“Aren’t we leaving now?” Eliza queried, her brow lifted frostily as she eyed the empty plates before them.
“The horses are ready if you are.” Peter watched as she pushed away from the table, clearly having no intention of engaging in a private chat with Edward or anyone else.
She actually felt pain in her chest as she moved to stand before him in the doorway. His towering presence so familiar to her that the thought of their parting brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. Squaring her jaw with determination she gazed up defiantly at him, his words of the previous night still ringing in her ears.
“Thank you for everything you have done for Jemima and me. Our sincerest gratitude seems so little to offer after the sacrifices you have made on our behalf.” She knew she sounded stiff and formal, but daren’t soften. Being stilted and distant was the only thing that was holding her together. Bravely she met his confused stare and tossed back her head.
“Thank you.” She murmured, offering him a small smile before sliding past him and disappearing out of the door. “I’ll wait for you all in the yard.”
She was aware of soft curses before the sound of booted feet echoed on the flagstones behind her. Sucking in a deep, fortifying breath she began to chant.
“Hold on for a few minutes more. Hold on for a few minutes more.” As she left the dim confines of the inn and stepped out into the morning sunshine.
As promised, several horses were saddled and ready. She had no idea which of the horses belonged to which man, so had to wait uncomfortably for the men to join her. Peter led her over to a huge bay standing patiently at the end of the line, ensuring she was safely saddled before checking her tack himself.
“You forgot this.” Edward appeared beside her, holding the thick woollen cloak aloft.
“Thank you.” Eliza replied quietly, shaking it out and sliding it around her shoulders. She was glad for the opportunity to turn her head away from his penetrating stare, fully aware that hadn’t moved away from her to mount his own horse.
“Will you be alright?”
“Of course. I really am very grateful for everything you have done. You have by far gone beyond what anyone could expect. Of course I understand that you have your life to get on with now, and I have mine.” She shot him a brief, over-bright smile that belied the shimmer of tears in her eyes.
“I am sure we will meet again in Leicestershire.” Edward murmured, hoping he could see her again, if only for reassurance that she was safe and well. The sudden distance in her behaviour and ready acceptance to his leaving rankled a bit. Now that he was free to go, he found he was unable to just simply let her leave but he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Tears maybe? Wailing refusal to accept his departure?
Mentally shaking his head, he patted her horse’s neck gently and murmured a gentle goodbye, wishing he could draw her head down for a quick and very thorough kiss. He wanted to go back to Leicestershire to put some distance between them in order to assess his true feelings for her. Until he knew for certain what those feelings were, he couldn’t give voice to them.