“I get it. The party was…eye opening. After all of this dies down, maybe we can try the friend thing again.”
I smile up at him. “I’d like that.”
We leave the apartment behind, and I lock the door behind me for the last time. With the return of my keys and my final good-bye to Jamie, I’m brought back to square one. In a way, I’m rebuilding my life. I should be terrified and at least a little sad. Instead, I’m nervous and excited. What I had going before didn’t work. It’s time I figure out what does.
“How are you?” Ruth asks.
I take a sip from my beer, letting the porch swing I had installed swing back and forth a few more times before I answer. “I’m good.”
“Thanks for the bullshit answer, now how about the real one?”
I laugh. Ruthie Price has been my best friend since college. The firecracker has never hesitated to speak her mind. It’s what I love and hate about her. She’ll lay your shit bare if she thinks it’s in your best interest. When I need tough love, she’s the first one I turn to. “I’m dealing. Being a full time parent to a teenage boy full of angst, anger, and the need to feel unconditionally loved is heavy.”
“I can only imagine, bu
t he loves you, and everyone knows how crazy you are about him. It’ll settle.”
“I hope so. I’m terrified of screwing up and making things worse for him.”
“Not possible, babe. You’re here every day, all day. That’s more than I think Bolt has ever had.”
“I know you’re right, but it’s different when you’re in it,” I say, trying to neutralize the fear threatening to creep up and ruin our girls’ night in.
“Always is, babe. That’s why I’m your voice of reason. I’m far enough outside to be objective, but close enough to get what’s going on. How are things with the family?”
“Crazy, overwhelming. It’s amazing how moving twenty minutes closer can change everything. The boys are always over to check on us or doing drive-bys. My father seems to think I need to be over there every other day, and my mother,” I picture the withdrawn woman with sad eyes, and a fake smile, “she’s not taking this well at all. I don’t want to say Calla is her favorite, but they connect on a different level. One I know she misses.”
“Can’t Calla have visitors?” Ruth asks.
“Yeah, but she’s refusing to see my parents. She’s furious they wouldn’t post her bail.”
“Which leaves you running interference, like usual. I hate that they do this to you.”
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“It’s been broken for a long time. Is she seeing you at least?”
“Oh yeah, she loves seeing me.” I roll my eyes.
“Meaning she’s a total bitch the entire time. Has Bolt gone to see her?”
“No.” I shake my head. “He doesn’t want to, and I’m not about to force him. You reap what you sow.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. She’s gotten away with so much shit over the years.”
“And look at her now. We all got to pay the Piper sometime.”
“Truth. How are you dealing with the Jamie break up?”
“Better than I should be. I swear I’m such a bitch. I actually feel relieved.”
“You should, he wasn’t right for you. You need someone more…” Ruth furrows her brow. “Masculine?”
“He was plenty masculine.”
“Not in the make your toes curl take-charge way.” She shudders dramatically.
I laugh. “Why do I get the feeling you’re picturing a particular man right now? Maybe you need to be the one sharing with me.”