Walk the Line (Kings of Chaos 5)

“Shit. I was wrong. I hope she gets made someone’s bitch. They like pretty little girls in there.”

She cups the back of my neck, and I allow myself to lean into her and soak up her warmth and love.

“Is it cold in here, or is it me?”

She moved to her cot and adds another blanket.

“B?”

“You have decreased circulation now. You’ll be prone to feeling cold a lot more now.”

“This just keeps getting better and better.” The bitterness wells up, and I pull away physically and mentally as I’m caught somewhere between rage and sorrow. Is this half-life going to be worth the effort just surviving will take? I went from being at the top of the pack to this, unable to control my own legs. How are the brothers going to see me rolling around in a chair a reminder of everything that could go wrong on a bike?

“Blanche?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to get out of here and go home.”

“We’ll do what we can to make it happen as soon as possible.”

“I sense a but here.”

“They have to make sure you’re out of the danger zone for risk for surgery complication and in the doctor’s mind ready to move on to the rehabilitation stage.”

“What do I need to do for him to think that?”

“Work your ass off and hide those outbursts I know are building up inside you.”

“To leave this sterile prison, I can do that.”

“I’ll have the house ready for you.”

“B. This is your last chance to bail. It’s going to get ugly before it gets better.”

“I never said I wanted pretty.”

Chapter Fifteen

Blanche

If there was an order of Liars, as there were for knights, I’d be crowned and ordained. When you work with the public, you learn to perfect the false face. The one that tells them everything will be okay, and you’ve got it all under control when you’re minutes away from a breakdown. I’m not okay. I’m scared, angry, stressed, and worried I’m going to fail the person I love.

I’m working my shifts, at the hospital every chance I can be, and preparing our home for his arrival. It’s been twenty-two days since he first went into the hospital and in three more days he’ll return home. I worry what it’ll do to us. Being patient and couple. It’s not recommended but when have we ever done anything by the book? The only enthusiasm he shows is when he talks about leaving and returning to our house. I couldn’t hand his case over to someone else, not yet.

He needs to build up his confidence more and regain more independence. Since he learned of my arrangement with Stone, he’s given one-hundred-and-ten-percent to the diet, exercise, and training Dr. Simmons put him on. I can still see the intense discomfort, embarrassment, and shame he feels over the help he receives. I want to help him move past that. It’s the most important job of my life, and I’m worried I’m not up to the task.

I pour a healthy dollop of whiskey into a tumbler as Lisa walks out of the room I’ve set up for rehab.

“You’re ready in there. It’s up here I’m worried about.” She taps her head.

“There’s a reason we’re supposed to keep our professional distance from the people we love.”

“So why are you going against that?”

“You can tell by my extended family. They don’t like rules or outsiders.”