I see the picture of the girl giving him head in my mind. Who saves that on their phone? My face heats. I ball my fists. He had said, What? You’re mad over a little road head? How do you think we all take the edge off when we’re traveling? The nonchalance in his words were a kick to the gut. But the time we spent before that, was damn near perfect. “I don’t know.”
“You might want to make some tough decisions, ‘cause he just walked in,” Dixie Rose announces.
My mouth dries out, and my heart races. I force myself not to look over my shoulder. “Is he coming this way?”
“Not yet, but he’s staring a hole through you right now,” Blue smirks.
“Good,” I reply ready to immerse myself in something else. “D’Rose, tell me how the wedding planning is going.”
“Good. We’re going to do something simple on the beach in a few months when the weather cools off. I meant to ask if you and Blue will be my matron of honor and maid of honor.”
We both let out squeals and hug her.
“Of course, I will!”
Dixie Rose laughs. “Thanks, girls. There’s no one else I’d want to be standing up there beside me.”
I’m glad I came. I wouldn’t miss this moment for the world.
“I brought some magazines,” Dixie Rose says with a shrug. “I have a concept in my head I want to execute. Echo is leaving all the details up to me, which is great, and not at the same time.”
“You have us here to make sure everything goes smoothly,” Blue reminds her.
I love the camaraderie. Blue is one of the most loyal people I know. She has shown me sisterhood was possible with someone not related by blood. I thank the fates that placed us together in middle school. “Well, let’s get out of this heat and let the boys and old ladies do their thing.” I can feel Skull’s gaze trained on my back as we walk inside. My stomach does somersaults. I kick myself. I need to be done with him, not swooning over him. “What colors are you thinking of?” I ask eager to help.
“My dress is a blush pink, and since it’s on the beach, I think the dresses are going to be a soft yellow. It’ll look beautiful on both of you, and it’ll go well with Echo’s gray tones.” She grabs a bridal magazine and opens a dog-eared page to the flowing yellow strapless gowns.
“These are beautiful,” Blue coos.
I nod my head in agreement.
“You guys like them?”
“Yes, I’d be happy to add that to my wardrobe,” I say. I’m fortunate to have friends who don’t try to place me in the most hideous creations known to fashion. I’ve been to enough weddings where the bridesmaids often got the short end of the stick.
“Good, one task down, a million more to go,” Dixie Rose quips playfully.
I love seeing her happy. After the hell she and Echo went through, dealing with his racist father and outdated bylaws of the club that prevented African Americans from joining, they deserved it.
“Is there a reason why you guys want this done so soon?” Blue asks glancing at her belly.
“Oh no, we’re nowhere near ready for babies. We thought it would help boost morale. Another plus, since we’re sticking close to home, the odds of him being called away are slim. I can’t remember how many times weddings and other big events were rescheduled because of runs.”
“So true.” Blue nods.
Their conversation drives home how foreign the world they live in is. Even as a close friend, I’m on the outside peering in. I have a closer view than most, but it’ll never be the same as living the life. Skull had never made things official or confided in me about anything serious.
Silly little girl, thinking you matter.
My stomach knots. Saliva gathers in my mouth. I place a hand on my angry belly and stand. “I’ll be right back.” I walk briskly to the bathroom, close the door, hit the fan and fall to my knees. I lift the lid in time to empty the content of my stomach. Tears stream down my face and my spirits plummet.
I flush the toilet and sit back on my heels. No more. I can outlast this longing for Skull. The want will fade over time. Losing my pride might break me. I’ve always been an independent woman who had no time for the bad behavior of others.
No one should be able to alter that. I get to my feet and walk over to the sink. Opening the cabinet, I grab the mouthwash and untwist the cap. I take a swig and swish it around in my mouth. The minty green liquid burns my mouth and steals away the disgusting taste lingering on my tongue. These are the last tears I’ll shed over Skull. He’s dangerous. Everyone has that person they can’t say no to. They’re like a drug, altering the way we act and think. I’ve met mine and found he doesn’t return the emotional attachment. So now, I walk on alone and heal.
I spit and avoid my reflection in the mirror for fear that I’ll recognize the lies in my eyes. I rinse my hands, clean up my mess, and return to the girls. “Have you thought about your bouquet?” I ask slipping back into the conversation.
“I have. I’m thinking of having it made of shells,” Dixie replies.