Wrapped up in the beautiful vision Dixie Rose is sharing, I find solace in the company of cl
ose friends, and hope. They waited years for their Mr. Right to return and show them how much they cared. The next man I’m with is going to prove his worth to me before I become invested.
***
Skull
I pick my jaw up off the floor and watch as Ruthie sashays her fine ass into the house. The outfit she’s wearing covers more than most of the women here, but I want to take off my vest and wrap her in it. Her body is for my eyes only. I ball my fists and roll my neck. If she thinks one fight ended our shit, she’s in for a rude awakening. We had our spat and that’s all it was.
I walked away when it happened to keep me calm, then all hell broke loose in the club. We were under attack, shit was blowing up, and I was busy trying to keep everyone safe. Between lock down, the bar and grill, and the mandatory church meetings, I’d put her on hold. In hindsight, I can see how fucked up it was to leave her hanging. I’m not used to answering to a female for anything.
She understood that when we got together what my lifestyle was like. I never thought to say no to the blowjob. I wasn’t fucking anyone.
“Is that still yours, brother?” Shadow asks.
“Fuck yes, it is.”
“You might want to let her know that then. Because the way these brothers are looking at her like a dog with a bone, they might try to test her loyalty.”
“Never going to happen,” I retort.
Shadow shakes his head. “I told you to decide what you were doing in that off and on relationship you two had. Now, you’ve pissed her off.”
“How would you know?” I snarl. I remember when he was trying to get Blue on board with the program. His shit hadn’t been all rainbows either.
“Because I have ears and eyes, fool. That shit that went sideways hurt her. The fact that you never smoothed shit out made it worse.”
“I was a little busy trying to keep everyone safe.”
“I get that. But I doubt she does,” Shadow explains.
“Shit man. She grew up in this. I can’t remember a time when I saw Blue, and she wasn’t beside her.”
“Ain’t the same thing as living it. You know when you date an outsider you have to lay all out or keep them completely separate from everything. You can’t have one foot in and one foot out. It never ends well for anyone.”
Shadow has wisdom that goes beyond on his years. I’m not sure if it’s the time he did in the pen or his personality. Then again, he’ s been a parent for a long time. They have a way of growing you up.
“I wasn’t sure I wanted to get that deep.”
“And now?” Shadow asks.
“I want to be in it over my head,” I respond with a shrug. After almost a month of not having her around…what I want is as clear as the water in the purest stream. I know what I want, and I aim to get it.
“You got your work cut out for you then.”
“I never minded a challenge,” I quip.
Shadow snickers. “Yeah, I noticed.”
I run my hand over my Mohawk and sigh. How do I explain my point of view without coming across like a total pussy? I don’t do relationships, feelings, or commitment. Here I am breaking all of my rules for this one woman. Ruthie Gregg is different. She’s laid back, understands most of my lifestyle, and is always down for whatever. Her banging body and pretty as fuck face were the things that caught my attention at first.
Now, they’re just a bonus. The things I like most about her are way deeper than the surface bullshit that used to consume me. You can only sleep with so many beautiful women falling all over themselves to please you before it gets old. I could bust a nut with any of the club girls. Didn’t do shit for me on the inside.
I’m closer to forty than not. As my brothers paired off, an unexplored desire surfaced. One was to have a woman of my own. I don’t know if marriage and kids are on the list. A steady woman in my bed and life is a definite. Ruthie is that woman.
“You might want to wait a minute before you try to talk to her,” Echo suggests.
“Why?”