Skull
What should feel like a victory is confusing as hell. The whole exchange at Ruthie’s was off. She’d never make me bend over backward, only to fold. I never saw her as the lying type, but she wanted me out of the house. My gut has kept me alive more than once. I’d be a fool to ignore it now. I kill the engine on my bike and retrace my steps to her front door. I knock.
Blue answers with glossed over brown eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask instantly on alert.
She shakes her head.
“Ruthie,” I call her name as I walk down the hallway. The sounds of hysterical sobbing lead me to her room. I walk inside and find her perched on the toilet with her head in her hands. “What’s wrong?”
“W-what are you doing here?” she hiccups.
“I don’t know. I left. But something didn’t feel right.”
She points at the sink. I look over at the three sticks lined up, and my heart drops to my stomach. The two lines carve my heart out with a spoon. “No,” the word is out of my mouth before I can filter it through my brain.
Ruthie gasps. “Get out!” she screams.
I flinch. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that, Ruthie. There are things I need to—” I hold my hands up. The pain rolling off her in waves sickens me like radiation. She completely misunderstood me.
Her palm connects with my face and turns my head sideways. I black out for a second. I just passed down fucked up genes to an innocent child. Ruthie has no clue. I slow blink as the static in my ears grows deafening. It’s my worst nightmare come true.
“Do you hear me?” She shoves my chest, and I return to myself. “I don’t want you here. Get out. I don’t need you! I’ll raise this baby alone. Don’t call me. Don’t stop by. Don’t send me any fucking thing.” Her face is twisted with rage, and her voice is shrill.
I grab her wrist. “Knock this shit off.”
She slams her foot into my shin.
I give her a firm shake. “Stop.”
“No. I’m done listening to you.”
“You need to stop, Ruthie. It’s not healthy for the baby,” Blue says from behind us.
“I want him gone.”
“I’m not going anywhere. You think you got pregnant on your own?”
“It would be better if I had.”
“Once you hear what I say you may not want to keep it,” I whisper. The self-loathing threatens to swallow me whole. What if it skips a generation? I didn’t get it, so now my child might suffer locked in small stages
of insanity. Even with medication it’s a struggle. What if they have it severely, like my father?
Blue gasps. “You should go, Skull.”
I stare her down. “This is none of your business.”
“If you care anything about her or that baby in her belly, you’ll leave right now before she hurts herself,” Blue says.
I shake my head. If I walk out of here and leave things like this, I’ll never be allowed back in. “I’m not going like this.”
“You don’t have a choice.” Ruthie snarls like a wild animal, all snapping teeth. Her husky voice adds to the feral display.
I thought she hated me before. I know the difference now.
“Do I need to call Shadow?” Blue says.