“You want to talk about anything?” I ask.
She giggles.
“What?”
“Usually, this is my line.”
“All you have to do is say no,” I mumble.
“No, it’s sweet, thank you. This just opened my eyes to the fact that secrets and fear can twist and wrap us until we can’t see which way is up. I don’t want that for us. I know there will be many things you can’t tell me, but everything else I want full disclosure on. We have some things to work on, both of us and I think since we got them out in the open, it’s been so much better. D-don’t you?”
I can feel her gaze searing a hole into my head like lasers. “I do. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to talk at first. We don’t talk shit out much around the clubhouse, and I hate that the past even happened. If I ignore it, I can pretend it never happened. Until I can’t.”
“The dreams?”
“They tend to happen when I poke at the past. I thought I was doing fine until I found out about the bean and it all crashed down on me. I don’t want to be a subpar dad because I didn’t handle my own shit. You both deserve better than that. So yeah, I’m going to work on it.”
Her fingers brush mine and she laces our digits. “I’m so glad you said that because I arranged an appointment with Dr. Reichsight in two weeks.”
Sneaky little bitch. I walked right into that one.
“You’re still up for going, right?”
“Yeah.”
She grins, and I know I’m completely and utterly fucked with no lube. There’s very little I wouldn’t do to see this woman’s face light up.
She gasps. “Oh, my God! Are you taking me where I think you are?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
“Sea World?”
“Thought I heard you mention you liked this place a lot growing up.”
“I did. It’s been so long since I came back here.” She bounces in her seat.
Now I know I’ve done my job. Today we’re going to forget about all the crazy shit going on and enjoy ourselves. I don’t even mind that I’m stuck in a cage. We pull into the gate, and I’m grateful that it’s early enough to not be jam packed yet. Summer means long lines, aggravated parents, and rambunctious kids, everywhere you go in So Cal. It’s the price we pay for being one of the top spots to vacation.
I find a parking spot that’s not in another zip code, and we walk to the park. She tucks her arm in mine and we walk in. As we enter the park, parents pull their kids a little closer and give me the side eye.
Ruthie is either oblivious or good at ignoring them.
“What do you want to do first? Today is all about you.”
“I want to ride the Sky ride. It’ll let us see how the parks changed without wearing down our feet.”
“Smart thinking.”
“I’m good for some things.”
“A lot of things,” I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leans in to me and I relax. This might be the first date I’ve been on as an adult. Last time I tried to impress a female I was in my senior year of high school. Damn, I’m getting old. I can’t keep my eyes off her as we head to the ticket booth. She’s literally radiating joy and contentment. She grabs my hand and pulls me to the lift entrance. When she’s like this, I can’t resist the enchantment she weaves effortlessly. It’s a break from the chaos I exist in. It takes a strong man to be in an M.C., because shit is always going left, and you always have to keep one eye open. It’s a steady tension most people can’t understand.
“Stop.”
I blink. “Stop what?”
“Thinking. We’re supposed to be having fun.” She grabs my cut, pulls me to her and rises on her tiptoes. She slips her tongue between my lips and refocuses my attention on her as she fucks my mouth and blows my mind. This woman has a million different sides to her. Most I discover, I like.