A throat clears.
We pull apart and she grins sheepishly.
“It’s your turn to load,” the pimply faced teen with unruly blond curls says.
“Thanks, man,” I say with a wink. One day you’ll understand. We climb in and he closes the door.
She shoves her sunglasses onto the top of her head. “I don’t want to miss anything.”
I hold back my laughter. I never thought I’d think some chick was cute, but there’s really no other word for it. She has me going soft.
“You’re staring,” she says.
“What? I like what see.” I shrug.
“Oh, and what’s that?”
“My woman happy and relaxed. It’s been a crazy couple of months.”
“To say the least.” Her face contorts with pain.
I know there’s more to the story than what she’s let on. I won’t push her. I want her to come to me on her own. I lean back in the blue bucket, and it hits me. This is a preview of what’s to come. Amusement park, cages, beach days and animated movies. A smile sneak across my lips. It reminds me of my life growing up.
Grandma and Grandpa would be ecstatic right now about the baby and Ruthie. I’m still not sure how I landed her. She’s way too put together and successful for me. I’m fully aware that I’m a mess. My mind turns to the appointment she made. Even now, she’s trying to clean my mind of the clutter trapping me in the past. It’s been a long time since someone cared about the man beneath the cut. Not Skull, but Tritt. It’s why I’m pushing past my comfort zones and trying to handle my shit. I have a chance at something I thought was lost to me. A family outside of the club. A little person that’s half me.
The thought of the potential problems they may face mentally still scares the shit out of me, but it’s a moot point. My kid is on the way and I need to be ready for all scenarios. It’s incredible the motivation that children cause.
“I bet you wish you were anywhere else right now.”
“This is the only place I want to be.” I lean forward and run my finger down the side of her face.
A flush creeps in on the tips of her ears and her cheeks. She studies me from underneath long lashes.
I fucked up with her. I’m still trying to work my way back to where we were. I humor her as she takes me by penguins, polar bears, and dolphins. Her enthusiasm grows with each new place. It’s easy to see her as a child, curious, and full of energy. My mind forms a mental picture of a mini Ruthie with my dark eyes. A lump forms in my throat. I’ve been keeping up with shit. The kid is now the size of an avocado. With every week that passes, shit is getting more real.
We closed the park down and I can see her losing energy. “You ready?” I ask kissing the top of her head.
“I don’t want to miss the fireworks.
“We can see them from the parking lot.”
“Okay.” She gives me a sleepy smile.
I pull her close to me, and make my way through the crowd. People give me a wide birth. Times like this, it’s helpful as hell. We make it to the car, and I roll down the windows to let the hot air out and crank the air conditioner. I lean against the car and pat my thighs. “Come here.” She steps between them, facing me. “You have fun today, Mama?”
“So much fun. I needed this. I needed you.”
I bury my fingers in her hair. “I’m always going to be here when you need me.”
“I’m starting to believe that.” She tilts her head up.
I lean down, capturing her lips as the explosions start behind me. I’m not sure if the bright lights bursting behind my lids are the fireworks she had in mind. But I appreciate them a hell of a lot more. I tilt my head deepening the kiss, as I taste her honeyed flavor. I will never get my fill of this woman.
***
I’m not sure what I expected, but the small bird like lady with a choppy haircut, flowing skirt, and Birkenstocks wasn’t it. I lean back against the comfortable green couch, lace my fingers, and try not to squirm. The thought of someone looking into my head doesn’t sit well with me. She seems nice enough. There’s a calm about her that extends out to me.
“How about we start simple, Skull? Tell me w