hat brought you here.”
“Nightmares.”
“That’s a start. What are they about?”
“My parent’s death. My father killed my mother and then turned the gun on himself. He was a schizophrenic and I spent a good portion of my life fearing I would have the same problems.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how that must’ve affected you. I didn’t see anything about schizophrenia in your records.”
“It seems to have skipped me. Once I passed twenty, the doctors felt pretty confident that I’d dodged a bullet.”
“And how did that make you feel?” she asks.
“Lucky, but responsible.”
“How so?”
“If I passed this on as a carrier to another person, it’d be selfish.”
“You know they’ve come a long way since the fifties with medication. Mental illness has a stigma to it even now. But living well with these illnesses is completely possible. Many people have wonderful, fulfilling lives.”
I want to protest, but it’d would make me look stupid. This woman is a professional. If anyone knew the truth about mental illness, it’s her.
“I find when we’re afraid of something, learning everything possible helps alleviate some of that dread.”
I grunt.
“Tell me, what are you looking to get out of our time?”
“Some sort of peace. I almost lost my Old Lady because I was terrified of passing this on to my kid. I avoided relationships because deep down, I feared becoming my father. At this point in my life, I can’t afford to hold onto that baggage. Not if I want to keep my family.”
“If you’re willing to put in the work, face the things that you’ve avoided, and be real with me, we’ll get you there.”
I think of the woman who relocated to my Grandparent’s home with little to no fuss. The one who’s ignoring her mother and her sister’s call because they might be a threat to the club. She deserves a man that is whole. “I can do that, Doctor R.”
Chapter Ten
Ruthie
“It’s like a bottle of Pepto exploded,” Blue says as she rotates in a circle and takes in the living room.
“No, it’s not. This is a light pink,” I defend.
“Ugh.”
“Her colors are pink and gray, we have to stick with the theme,” I urge.
“I know, but holy cow! Here hold on to this,” Blue says, handing me a large balloon. I hold the pink balloon and she wraps it with light pink tulle. We finish wrapping them and spread them around the living room.
“I love this house, Ruthie.”
“I do too. I can’t believe he forced us to have the bachelorette party here.”
“I can, he’s so overprotective. It’s pretty adorable.”
“Shut it, Blue. Shadow is the same way. Henceforth, Bolty being bored out of his mind,” I say nodding my head toward the sliding glass door that leads to the back patio. We’ve dubbed him the Grill Master, then set him up with an Xbox, and movies in the guest room.
“Oh, no. Not even close. Skull is in full on protective Daddy mode. Speaking of, when are you going to spill the beans?”