Pretty Hurts (Left 1.50)

“I won’t.”

She purses her lips as she studies me.

“I promise.”

“Good. Now I hope you’re ready to shop because I can’t fit in most of my clothes anymore.”

“Only three more months to go.”

“I know. I’m excited, but nervous as hell. Pushing something the size of a watermelon out of my vagina is terrifying. No Lamaze class or book is going to prepare me for that.”

“Are you getting an epidural?”

“Hell yes, I am.”

“It’s going to be okay. You’ve got your birth plan, your mom, Houston, and I will be there.”

She swallows. “I hope so.”

“How’s the trio handling the fast-approaching arrival of another sibling?”

“They’re really excited. Phoenix is praying it’s a boy. He said there are too many girls in the house.”

I laugh, picturing Houston’s mini me delivering the statement with a serious expression. “He’s Houston all over. I see very little of his mother in him. Not that it’s a bad thing. Are they still having nightmares about her coming and taking them away?” I ask, remembering the countless sleepless nights Liv and Houston endured after the triplet’s biological mother, Rain, reappeared and opted to fight for custody.

“No, they’ve tapered off. Counseling and the excitement about the new baby really helped.”

“So did their new mama,” I say not about to let her discredit herself. I’ve always admired her graciousness, but she put in long hours and oceans of TLC into those littles long before she said I do to Houston. Best friends turned lovers, Liv and Houston’s story was the stuff romances were made of.

“I know this makes me sound awful, but I’m glad she lost her rights to them. This way there will be no more resurfacing at the drop of a dime and thrusting our family into complete chaos. With her out there lurking it’d be too much like I was waiting for the killer in the horror movie to come back for that one last scare when you least expect it. They deserve better than that.”

“You’re right, and thanks to you and Houston, they’ll get it.”

“God, I hope so. My biggest fear is failing them. Parenting is a difficult job that comes with no instructions, plenty of outside speculation, and a tiny, emotional being with rapidly changing needs. It’s daunting.” She sighs. “Yet, I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. They’ve started calling me Mom, Ef. Can you believe that?”

My heart melts as I rejoice for the happiness she’s found. She’s been their mother in everything but name for years since their birth mother abandoned them.

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask softly.

She sniffs, and swipes at her eyes with her fingers, blinking furiously to contain the tears that make her eyes sparkle like gemstones. “I can’t even begin to describe it. I’ve never felt so complete in my entire life.”

She sighs. I swear any moment a blue bird is going to flutter into the café and land on her shoulder because she looks so damn content. Clearing her throat, she pops the last bite of her scone into her mouth.

“What theme are you going for with the gender reveal?” I ask, trying to get an idea of what we’re shopping for.

“Classic with soft shades of blue and pink. You know we’re minimalists at heart. Probably because life with three children is hectic enough.”

“Okay, so maternity store, and then party store?”

“Sounds good to me.”

I drain the last drops of my coffee. We rise, and I carry our mugs back to the counter. This spot is a hidden treasure. Open twenty-four hours it has a laid back vibe, good music, and personal touches that make it feel like a home away from home. I’ve spent many hours brainstorming when I didn’t feel like being in the quiet space of my house.

We head out to the Black SUV she upgraded to after she married Houston, and I marvel at the ways life can change in just six months. As I climb into the cab, I can’t help but wonder what the next six will bring for me. I’ve been rocked to my core and had my character tested. Will the tide change? My grandmother always said when one door closes a window opens. Is there some fantastic event coming in my future that’ll make what I’ve been through pale in comparison? My mind flickers to Edgar. I’m not a disbeliever in love, I’ve simply never experienced it. Not the real, let’s get married and spend the rest of our lives together love. I’m thirty-five, and I’ve started to think maybe it’s not in the cards for me. Now, I’m wondering if I jumped the gun with my assessments.

***

It took everything in me to come to my parents for the barbecue. I’m still running on little sleep from staying up way too late at Liv and Houston’s. Houston’s best friend, Ollie, was over, and we played cards. I remove my sunglasses, and place them in the case built into the overhead of my car. I run my hand over my face. My Aunt Rhonda is back in town visiting from Georgia. She’s a Southern woman with old-fashioned beliefs, advice I never ask for or follow, and deep bitterness from a bad divorce.