What the Heart Knows

Way to sell me out, Jen.

“How did I know you were going to ask me that question?”

“Juniper, I’m serious.”

“Wow, breaking out the full name? Is that really necessary?”

“Knock it off! I’m not in the mood to play games right now.” His voice had dropped an octave. The tone coupled with the serious look on his face made her pause.

“What do you want me to say, Leo? He’s a guy I met at Cupa. I am old enough to date.”

“You just left with some stranger? Are you out of your mind? You have to be more careful than that, Juni! What if something happened to you—”

“Stop you right there. I’m not stupid, Leo. We went three stores up to Pete’s and he walked me back to Cupa when we were done. He doesn’t know where I live, and I texted Jen when we got to the restaurant and when I made it home. I was perfectly safe.”

“I just want you to be cautious. You’re a beautiful woman, and men are bastards. There are plenty of people out there just waiting for an opportunity to take advantage of others.”

“I know that Leo.”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea how harsh and ugly the world can be.” His flippant words struck a chord.

She’d let him have his say. Now it was time to put him in his place. He forgot she was no longer that sick girl who depended on him to help her with all the things she couldn’t do for herself.

“I was sick, Leo, not blind and oblivious to what was going on in the world around me.”

“I know, you’re a smart woman, you always have been. It wasn’t your fault you were handled with kid gloves, but you have to admit you were sheltered to a point for a long time.”

“That’s exactly why I’m going to do as I please now. I’ve done enough of not living to last me a lifetime, Leo! By a miraculous turn of events I found myself no longer at death’s door, and I promised then and there I’d make up for lost time. In order to do that I’m going to have to risk getting hurt and step out of my comfort zone.”

She reached across the table to grasp his hands between her own.

“You can’t wrap me up in bubble wrap, big brother.”

“Why not?” His voice was low and filled with gravel as he shot her a petulant look across the table.

He was the best big brother a girl could ask for. Four years her senior, he’d spent a large portion of his life being her protector and taking care of all the things she was unable to do. Her recovery had freed him to fully live as well. She always felt as if she’d stolen his childhood from him. It was an issue she’d always felt guilty about growing up. Even his decision to attend a college in-state had directly correlated to her need for assistance beyond what her Mother and Father could provide while running a business. The joy drained from her momentarily as she thought of what she had believed were her last moments, two years prior.

****

St. Luke’s hospital room, 2010

She smiled up at her parents as she lay propped up in the hospital bed. They didn’t need to tell her the odds of ever leaving this room were slim to none. She’d felt her body grow weaker every month, and right now, her very spirit was threadbare. It took an incredible effort just to keep her eyelids open enough to see them right now.

“Hey Juniper, how are you feeling?” her mom asked. The waver in her voice tore at her heart so she forced a shaky smile.

“Not too bad.” It wasn’t a lie. They had her so doped up she couldn’t feel much. It looked like the time had come to give up the ghost.

“That’s good, baby. Is there anything you want us to bring you?” She stroked her hair back from her face, and Juni reveled in the comfort she provided with the light touch.

“No, I’m just happy to spend time with you.” The words before I go echoed through the room, though they went unspoken.

“Do you want to rest?” her father asked. His kind face was drawn tight and he appeared haggard and worn down from all the worry and stress.

“No, why don’t you guys take a seat, and tell me about everything I’ve missed.”

She smiled when they took the seats on either side of her bed and began to fill her in on progress on Cupa and their tight knit circle of family and friends. It was in mid conversation she felt herself start to slip away into the black against her own will. It felt like drowning. Her eyes closed, her breath slowed and she wondered if it was the last thing she’d ever do.

****