It was a never-ending, thankless, unseen job that few chose to do, and always had an expiry date. No one could do it forever. It extracted far too heavy a price from your sanity.
“How is she?” he asked.
“I think this will help. She needs to talk, and every time she shares, I want to kill someone.” I ran a hand over my hair with a rueful smirk. “I had to order a new punching bag yesterday.”
He nodded. “You’re in deep with her, Marcus. Is that wise?”
I met his gaze. He looked concerned, but not angry or judgmental. I shrugged helplessly. “I can’t control it, Julian. I didn’t plan on it and it has surprised me as much as it has you, but it’s there.”
“A draw,” he said quietly. “Like Matteo had to Evie.”
I laughed at the irony of his words. “Yeah, like Matteo. But at least I didn’t marry her the same night.”
“But will you?”
His question stopped me. “I don’t know.”
“I can get her a fresh start. New name. Send her some place safe where I can keep tabs on her. Make sure she’s okay.”
The thought of her leaving, of her being somewhere I couldn’t protect her, couldn’t touch her, made me crazy. “No,” I said emphatically. “No, you cannot.”
He relaxed back into the cushions. “I suppose I have my answer. But Marcus, you can’t keep her locked up. You know that.”
“For now, I have no choice. There is nothing else I can do.”
He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, his voice low. “You and I both know that is bullshit. I pulled some files on her. She was top of her classes. Well-thought-of by instructors. Always willing to work harder, work more. Very adept at research.” He shook his head. “She could have gone straight into police work, not a grunt job like an intake clerk. I don’t know if she held herself back or her superiors did, but her talent was underused.”
“What are you saying?”
“Let her help.”
I scrubbed my face. “I don’t want—”
He cut me off. “Stop thinking with your heart. I am telling you this is what has to happen. She needs to feel as if she is part of the solution, instead of only the victim. Let her work with Damien, checking leads, digging through files. Another pair of hands and eyes, especially one already familiar with the case and clever, is an asset. If you’d get past this caveman bullshit, you’d admit that. She’ll be in the building, safe, but productive.”
He sat back, shaking his head. “The tighter the noose, Marcus, the more she’ll resent it. Resent you. Matteo found that out and had to refigure his thinking. The same goes for you.”
When I didn’t respond, he added his final thoughts. “She isn’t Evie, Marcus. Evie was innocent of this entire world when Matteo brought her into it. She stumbled before she found her feet, and Matteo was right to keep her sheltered until she was ready. But once she was, he realized what he had to do. Missy has training, some background, and she wants to be involved. And I believe she is ready. You need to get over this. You’re letting your fear win.” He stood. “The problem is yours, not hers. I suggest you think on that.”
He left me alone, his words on repeat in my head.
At the end of the week, I stared in shock at Dr. Easton. Partway through Missy’s scheduled appointment, she’d opened the door and asked me to join them.
“Can you repeat that?” I asked.
Sitting in her chair, legs crossed, a notebook on her lap, Dr. Easton was the epitome of relaxed. In control and professional. “You’re letting your fears override your good judgment in regard to Missy.”
Her wording was so close to Julian’s, I wondered if the two of them had talked.
“I’m not sure you have the right to make that decision,” I responded.
She smiled, tilting her head and studying me. “I assure you I do.”
“You think she can handle working on this case? With everything she went through?”
Missy turned to me, her eyes narrowed. “She is right here.”
I scrubbed my face. “Why?” I asked, directing the single word to her.
“They took away my freedom and rights when they kidnapped me and shoved me in that cage like I was an animal. I wasn’t even human to them. None of the women were. I need to be part of the team that takes him down. The one pulling all the strings behind the scenes. I need to know why I was singled out.” She slipped her hands over mine. “The only one stopping me is you, Marcus. You don’t trust me or have any faith.”
“No, I do,” I protested. “But Missy, you’ll relive what you went through every day. See pictures and read things that will be burned into your brain forever. I’m trying to spare you that.”