I took a deep breath and exhaled through my nose.
The music was almost as loud as last time, and if Shannon wanted it even louder, he could adjust the volume himself. The playlist I’d chosen was less industrial and more seductive indie rock, and I held out dumb hope it would set the mood. Slow things down.
The bed dipped suddenly, causing my pulse to skyrocket, and it took all my strength to keep my brain from spiraling. Not right now—I didn’t wanna overanalyze or worry. I just needed to feel him.
Give me tonight. I won’t ask for anything else.
I felt the heat from his body before he touched me, eliciting a shiver that ran down my spine. Then his hand followed; he stroked my back in an unhurried motion up toward my neck.
I swallowed dryly and reminded myself to at least pretend I was ticklish if he got near my wound. It hadn’t healed yet. I still had a smaller bandage, and it would give me away in a heartbeat.
I drew in a shaky breath as he kissed my neck.
I was fucking unstable. Just his lips on my neck caused a flurry of emotions to rush toward the surface, and I had to fist the pillow to keep still. But after his text, nobody could blame me. He was shattering every defense I had.
“Shit,” I breathed, something cold drizzling over my back. I guessed he’d meant business with the massage oil.
He made it better right away, with his warm hands running up and down my back in firm strokes.
He pulled gently at my arms, silently telling me to put them along my sides. Then he removed the pillow I’d been clutching.
He kneaded my flesh.
He loosened the tension in my shoulders.
It was probably supposed to be relaxing, or hot and seductive, but all he did was bring my emotions even closer to the surface, and I couldn’t fucking handle it. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I have gotten hooked on a man without…Jesus, all that baggage. One dead wife, one dead son, and an attachment to me that was as platonic as it could be.
Thank fuck we had the music. I sniffled and cursed myself. Great job at ruining the evening, Ford. Seriously.
Oh God. He rubbed me deeper, working a kink in my shoulder blades, and it felt as if he struck some nerve that released a shitload of tension at the same time as he straddled my ass and let me know he was definitely stark fucking naked. And there I was with tears rolling down my face.
He couldn’t even let me have my dignity?
Something was happening with me, and I couldn’t stop it. The harder he massaged me, the more I cried—I legit fucking cried. I couldn’t believe myself. But it felt so damn good. Like he was taking over. Like he was lifting every burden from my shoulders.
It was a gift to be touched. And the way he touched me…
His hands were magical. The warmth, the passion and strength he applied, just how he slowly rubbed my arms, like he didn’t wanna miss a single inch. He was squeezing the stress and all the worries out of me.
I melted into the mattress when he leaned over me and kissed my neck as he rubbed my lower back. An openmouthed kiss below my ear. I shuddered violently and couldn’t help but push my ass a little bit against his cock.
Take more.
Fuck, take it all.
He shifted lower and poured more oil onto my ass and the backs of my thighs, and it made my thoughts race in a new direction. To a place where tears were forgotten and every breath came easier.
He got greedy. Massaging the oil into my skin, he slipped his thumbs between my ass cheeks on each pass upward. It made me greedy too. Closer. Please. I rolled my hips with his movements, but he took his sweet time, only sometimes giving me a glimpse of what was to come. I hoped.
I swallowed a moan.
It was the first time his thumb brushed over my asshole, and I was beyond ready. I’d been ready for years.
Fuck me.
Last time, I’d thought it’d been surreal, sexier than words could describe, but this…now the power had shifted, and it was where it belonged. In his hands.
With a little more oil coating his fingers, he started rubbing my opening in sensual circles, and I caught myself squirming. He drew each movement from me using invisible puppet strings. Whatever he did, I tried to get closer.
His body heat returned to my back, as did his lips to my neck and shoulders. Then he slid a lone finger deep into my ass, and I groaned and did everything I could to arch into his touch. Holy fuck, that felt good. A beat later, he kissed his way to my jaw and cheek, so I took my chance and tilted toward him. I met him in a kiss that he controlled right away. He pushed a second finger inside me and kissed me hungrily.