I was truly cursed.
The metal door opened just then, hinges grating. Manuel stepped through, his face a typical mask of indifference. Close on his heels was Gabe. His green eyes burned into mine from across the room. I made a move to jump into his arms, but froze. Maybe he didn’t want to touch me anymore. I was a freak. He could be disgusted by me. The thought brought a lump to my throat.
“Lizzy...” Gabe rushed toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist, evaporating all my fears. His hands worked their way into my hair, entangling near the roots. “Thank God, you’re alright.”
I choked back a sob and clung to his chest, drinking in the smell of earth and sweat in his t-shirt. It was a manly kind of scent that I’d come to love. Sometimes, my pillow would retain the earthy scent long after he’d left my room. I loved that reminder of him.
“I’m so sorry, Gabe. What you must think of me.” I pulled him tighter. “I didn’t know. Granny never mentioned it until yesterday. I’m so freaked out.”
He grabbed my shoulders and pulled away just the slightest bit. “What are you talking about? Your Granny was here?”
I nodded. “Apparently, she knew this whole time.”
“Knew what?” His eyes narrowed. “That your mother was alive?”
I’d expected word to travel fast throughout the manor. If Gabe didn’t know Granny had been here, then maybe Luke hadn’t told him about my demon heritage. He was still in the dark.
My heart leapt at the news, but then did a double-take. If Gabe didn’t know about my demon side, he might still come to hate me. It would kill me to see that in his eyes. But he was going to find out one way or another.
Try as she might, Silvia could never keep a secret long in these walls. The Nephilim were a tight bunch. If someone broke up at dinner, the whole village knew about it bef
ore bedtime. That’s just how it happened. And Gabe deserved to hear it from me.
“I...uh...”
My eyes trailed to Manuel leaning against the far wall, his boot resting on the drywall. He examined his fingernails and sucked in his cheeks. Obviously, I was getting zero help from him. I cleared my throat and gently pushed Gabe’s arms away. He tilted his head to one side with a concern that furrowed his brow, but didn’t stop me. With a deep breath, I urged my voice to work. Nothing but a squeak came out, so I tried again.
“Gabe, I’m a demon.”
It wasn’t exactly the eloquent way I’d pictured saying it in my head. But with very little sleep and a writhing mass of panic ever present in the back of my mind, it was the best I could come up with on short notice. It seemed to do the job, though.
Gabe tilted his head the other way and stepped back. “What?”
I took another breath. “I’m a demon. Well, part demon. My mother was possessed when she gave birth to me.”
He shook his head. He wasn’t getting it.
“That’s what Granny was telling us yesterday. She knew my mother had been possessed. She thought she could work it out of me as a child. But she couldn’t.”
He narrowed his green eyes suspiciously at me. “Your Granny said this? How do you know she’s telling the truth? It could be another plot of hers to get you killed.”
I shrugged helplessly. He had a point. Granny wasn’t exactly a trustworthy informant. Still, I knew what she said was true. It’d been there all along, but now it had a name. I could feel the demon inside of me, just waiting to get out. It was the thing that flared to life during my moments of anger and caused me to lash out. I’d been stretching its muscles every day in those forests—using its power to crush its own demon kind back into the Earth. It was definitely there.
“She’s right,” Manuel finally spoke up. He was still examining his fingernails. “It’s obvious now. Her irrational bursts during training. The pain she felt when angel fire would light up her body. It’s her opposing natures fighting each other.”
Well, at least it didn’t take long to convince my trainer. I looked up at Gabe, hoping the desperation would be clear in my eyes. I hadn’t wanted this to happen. If I could change myself, I would. I’d kill the demon side of me. But as far as I knew, that wasn’t possible.
“No, that isn’t possible.” He took another step backward, nearly upsetting one of the hard wooden chairs. I took a step toward him, but he retreated again. “No. You can’t be a demon. It’s not possible. It’s not natural.”
Someone could’ve taken pruning shears to my heart and sheered it away, piece by piece, and it wouldn’t have hurt as much as it did now. The terror and confusion in Gabe’s eyes squeezed my heart until it felt ready to burst. I could feel my bottom lip begin to quiver, but I did my best to keep in the tears.
“I’m so sorry.” A drop spilled onto my cheek, but I wiped it away.
This was it—the moment where we’d part. A Nephilim warrior like Gabe couldn’t be with a demon freak like me. It just didn’t make sense. He killed my kind. He was strong and brave and bold. A warrior like him deserved someone equally as fierce. A partner who could keep up with him and push him to succeed. That wasn’t me. It’d never be me.
“We have to fight this.” Gabe covered the ground between us in a single bound. He grabbed my hands and held them tight. “There has to be a way to get it out of you. There just has to be. You’re not evil.”
I gave him a grim smile. Of course he’d say something like that.