I hadn’t heard him come in. He swung the metal door to my room wide open and stood aside for me to walk past him.
Every evening, a guard would lock me in my bedroom as an extra form of caution. Against what, I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t exactly complain. My individual bedroom was at least the size of the room I shared with Raquel. It had a TV, a small toilet and sink combo, and a large bed. Not much else. But I could guarantee it was a lot nicer than the cells they stuffed prisoners into up at the state prison.
My only complaint lay in the lack of visitors. Although it’d been several days, Gabe hadn’t tried to visit since he rushed out of here. I hated to admit it, but I was desperately missing the feel of his arms around me. The thought of never seeing him again made my gut twist with anguish, so I tried to keep him out of my thoughts. Not even my father had made an effort to contact me. It was as if the rest of the world had forgotten about my existence. All except for Manuel.
“You’re late,” I told him, making a straight line for the breakfast tray he’d left on the counter. Scrambled eggs piled high upon half a dozen slices of toast with peanut butter. My favorite. I stuffed a slice into my mouth and tried to talk as I chewed. “What’s going on up there?”
“Patrols have been tripled,” he said with a heavy sigh, raking a hand through his shortly cropped hair. “I just got off an early morning assignment. Ferals are flooding the forest. We’re having a hard time keeping up.”
A shard of toast caught in my throat and I choked. How was that possible? I hadn’t gone anywhere near the Hell Gate in several days. Surely, I couldn’t be affecting it all the way from here, if I was really some sort of key.
“Is everyone okay?” I gulped from the glass of milk he’d provided, clearing my throat.
There was one Nephilim warrior in particular who I knew to be a little too self-sacrificing. He wouldn’t think twice to put himself in danger to save a friend. Or me.
“Everyone is fine.” His eyes looked into mine and he furrowed his brow. “Yes, even Gabe. They’re taking all safety precautions necessary.”
I nodded gratefully. If there was one thing I appreciated about Manuel, he didn’t hold anything back. If something had gone wrong, I could count on him to tell me the truth.
“Now, shall we begin?” He gestured to the two mats he’d set up on the floor.
Scrambling to stuff another piece of toast in my mouth, I ran to the mat and plopped down. Gone were the days when I rolled my eyes at my trainer’s method of training. If spending an hour staring at the floor could help me control my demons, I was going to try my hardest.
“Close your eyes,” he said, settling onto his own mat. The knees of his khaki pants were scuffed and there was a brown smear on his gray t-shirt. He obviously hadn’t changed after his patrol in the woods. I was glad to see no bloodstains or wounds on his visible skin. “Feel the nothingness. Breathe deeply and lose yourself in the depths.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and attempted to block out the distractions of the room. Dim stars danced on the back of my eyelids as I licked my lips and breathed in. Clearing my mind had become nearly impossible these days. What with the worries about my demon heritage and the constant danger surrounding my loved ones, I struggled to reach that void that Manuel seemed so eager for me to occupy. Shifting uncomfortably on my tailbone, I urged my mind to get there for once.
“You’re not concentrating.” Manuel’s voice rumbled with a scolding tone. “Think about the nothingness.”
Squinting at him with one eye open, I resisted scowling and instead tried to refocus. This was important. Finding that peaceful part of my soul could be the key to destroying the demon. I had to try.
Relaxing my mind, I waited for the darkness to descend. A hollow noise filled my ears. Like a low wind through a long tunnel, it blew over me. Letting go of my physical attachments to this world, I tried to release and sink into the nothingness, as Manuel had taught. When I could no longer feel the ground beneath my body, I knew I had succeeded. Nothing was holding me back any longer. I could feel the nothingness.
Except, it wasn’t complete nothingness. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind told me that I wasn’t alone. Turning in the darkness of my head, I searched for the source of the unrest. Something was there, watching me. It felt dark and predatory. A lion hunting in the Savanna.
My eyes fell upon a dark mass that writhed in the nothingness of my mind. As I observed its shape, it became more solid, gathering until the smoky ethereal mass formed a human body. Except it wasn’t human. It resembled the shadow of a human, lacking features and details that would’ve made it unique.
The closer I looked at it, the more I realized that the features it did possess seemed to mirror my own. The writhing mass had long dark hair, stood at my height, and had copied my athletic physique. I reached out to touch it and it did the same. Our fingertips grazed, sending a painful shock through my body in tremendous waves. It hissed and recoiled, retreating into a corner.
Shaking my injured hand, I glared at the creature. “What are you?”
It tilted its head to one side. Its mouth parted slightly, revealing a black hole. “I am you, of course.”
Its voice was ragged and sharp, but definitely female. A presence completely free of my own conscious. My demon. The very part of me that had caused all this trouble and heartache. I hated its very existence.
“Leave me alone,” I said, turning my back on it.
Walking a few steps into the nothingness, I paused and listened for its retreat. Nothing. Peering over my shoulder, I saw the demon lingering only feet behind me, its sightless eyes gazing at me.
“Seriously, I don’t want you here.” I turned to face it once again. My cheeks felt hot as the blood rushed to my face. “You’re nothing but a parasite. And when I find a way, I’m going to kill you off.”
“You can’t kill me.” It chuckled, low and gruff. The sound of it reminded me of the slow grind of a train’s wheels as it came to a stop. “We are one in the same. You kill me, you kill yourself.”
Tossing my head back, I turned on my heel to walk away again. Despite my passive expression, fear had begun to boil up inside me. What if it was right? What if I couldn’t get rid of it? Maybe I’d be part demon forever.
“We’ll find a way,” I shot over my shoulder. I could feel it following me. “Don’t get comfy. Your time is coming.”
“My time is coming,” it gleefully repeated. Its words made me stop my retreat. “The time is coming for the Prince of Hell to escape his bonds and rule this world. He will crush those who oppose him. And he will come for me—freeing me from this prison. You’ll find out soon enough.”