“No?”
She shook her. “When I’m not working, I’m just at home. I don’t get out much.”
“That’s surprising. I figured you would be dating at least.”
“I do… A little.”
“Nothing serious?”
“Not since you.”
Good, I thought selfishly. I didn’t think I could take it if she’d found someone new.
She stared down at the scone in her hand and we fell into an awkward silence. A stray curl fell into her face and I had to fight the urge to brush it aside.
She was still so damn beautiful.
“What else has been going on?” I pressed. “Any new friends in the city?”
“Just my assistant, Adam. He’s my best friend.”
I grinned. “You have an assistant? Fancy.”
She laughed. “It’s not as exciting as it sounds. He’s more like an annoying little brother than anything.”
“Sounds like fun.”
Alicia nodded. “It is. As cliché as it sounds, I’m really happy. I love my life.”
“That’s wonderful.” I was smiling like an idiot, but couldn’t help it. Just sitting with her made me feel at ease. The tension left my shoulders for the first time in months. I could have sat there with her all day without ever getting bored.
“Your turn,” she said suddenly.
I took a sip of my coffee and hesitated. There were so many things I wanted her to know, but even more that I didn’t. She was finally speaking to me, we were catching up, and she seemed to hate me less; I didn’t want to ruin things by revealing my shortcomings.
CHAPTER 14
Zane
“There’s not much to tell,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve been working. I retired a few months ago.”
Alicia raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You did? Why?”
“There was a mission,” I began slowly. “Some things happened that shouldn’t have and my team was pretty messed up about it. We tried to stick it out, but in the end, we just weren’t the same men anymore. I was discharged honorably four months ago.”
“How was it?” she asked. “Before that? I mean, you spent your entire life waiting to be a Savage Soldier, traveling the world. What was it like?”
“It was…” I searched for the right words, “complicated, I guess. That’s the best way to describe it.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Some things I can’t really talk about,” I said softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…”
“You’re still dealing with it all,” she said with a nod. “I understand.”
“Yeah.” I stared down into my lap. “Thank you. It’s not easy—coming back here and trying to adjust to civilian life. It was only five years, but after all the missions and training, I’m not the same person anymore. I left a lot of myself behind when I left for Coronado and a lot more behind when I left the Savage Soldiers. I’m just trying to figure out where my place is now.”
“That makes sense,” Alicia said empathetically. “It seems like you’re doing really well though.”