Hopeless Hero

My entire body shook and my blood boiled remembering the things McCoys had said to me just moments ago. His words had hit me harder than anything I’d ever experienced because he had finally put into words exactly how I’d felt since the night Leo died. No one knew how much that night tore me apart, and now I knew for certain that even my own team members thought I’d been responsible. I had always thought it was my fault, but after my confrontation with McCoys, I finally knew once and for all that I was right.

“I’m going home,” Alicia said, looking at me with disgust. “Don’t follow me. In fact, don’t ever speak to me again.”

“Alicia!” I called after her as she hurried down the street. I moved to follow her, but my legs weren’t strong enough to hold me anymore. After everything that had happened that night, I couldn’t stand for another second. I collapsed onto the asphalt and rolled onto my back.

As I stared up at the stars, the world around me spun and my stomach heaved. I rolled over and vomited. When I was done, I laid my head back down and closed my eyes.

“Prewitt, you look like shit, man.”

I heard Leo’s voice in my head as clearly as if he was lying right beside me. The tears began to flow.

“Get up,” he said. “You’re already pathetic enough without passing out in front of a bar. Just get up.”

“I can’t,” I said out loud. “I can’t do it anymore, Leo.”

“You have to,” his voice whispered.

“Why?” I asked, my voice cracking with emotion.

“Because you lived, man. You lived.”

CHAPTER 23

Alicia

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, but it wasn’t from the alcohol. Immediately, I remembered everything that had happened the night before. Having sex with Zane in the bathroom. Feeling like I could never want anyone more than I wanted him.

And then the waves of guilt that washed over me as I remembered how our daughter had been conceived.

Zane still didn’t know that Elizabeth existed. We were falling for each other all over again, and I hadn’t even told him the most important part of my life.

When I left the bathroom, I’d been finally ready to tell him everything, unable to stand keeping it from him any longer. Five drinks and an orgasm had emboldened me. In that moment, I’d felt like I could tell him the truth, and that he would understand.

But when I saw him tackle that man, everything changed.

I stood back and watched as he pummeled some random guy. There had been blood everywhere. People tried to break them apart, but it took a while before they could pry Zane off him.

I felt sick watching the way Zane’s face had twisted with so much rage and violence. I just couldn’t handle seeing the strong and muscular body that I knew so well hurting someone senselessly.

After everything Zane and I had been through, I didn’t think there was anything that could tear us apart again.

I was wrong.

Seeing him fight that way made me regret every single moment I had spent back in Savage. I had stormed down the street without slowing down until I reached my parents’ house. By the time I fell asleep that night, I had decided to leave the next morning.

When I woke up though, I knew that wasn’t fair to my family. They had a huge barbecue planned for the next day. Everyone was going to be there to see me one last time before I left for New York. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t blow them off. So instead of packing, I took a shower and cooked breakfast for Elizabeth. After she ate, I dropped her off at Allie’s house to play.

“You okay?” Jordan asked when he answered the door.

“I’m great,” I said. “Lizzy just wanted to play with her cousins. Is that all right?”

Jordan smiled. “Of course! Come on in, Lizzy-bug.”

“Thanks, Uncle Jordan!” Lizzy ran through the door and hurried upstairs to the playroom. I could hear her cousins squeal with delight when they saw her. I smiled and turned my attention back to Jordan.

“I should go,” I said. “I’ll pick her up in a few hours.”

“Hey,” he called. “What’s up?”