The Sexpert

“No,” she says. “No, I’m still here.”

“Oh, my God, what’s wrong?”

“That’s kind of a great offer Pierce made us. Don’t you think?”

“Is it?” I say. “I mean, Pink Lady said you could work from home, right?”

“I know, but Pink Lady is independent media and you know how those are. Here one day, gone the next. Le Man… Le Man is legitimate.”

“You’re not seriously thinking I should—well, I can’t now. The deal is over, Zoey. It ended at five o’clock! Besides, I already lied to Andrew about this. So many times. If we take Pierce’s offer, he’s gonna know I was lying and it’s going to ruin everything!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the offer. I might’ve told you to just… do it.”

I take deep breaths. Steeple my fingers. Place them against my chin. And say, “Pink Lady is perfect.”

“But Le Man—”

“No. Jesus. You know how much I want to get out of there, Zoey. Pink Lady is perfect.”

She sighs.

“Pink Lady—“

“I get it,” Zoey says. “But you should’ve told me about the offer while it was still in effect, Eden. Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve discussed it.”

I want to get mad at her right now and I never get mad at Zoey. But… I take a deep breath and calm myself down, then say, in a low and even tone, “We started this because we wanted independence. We wanted things a corporation like Le Man and Corporate Solutions couldn’t give us, remember?”

“I remember, but Eden. God. Shit. I dunno. I mean… what I really want is stability. Ya know? I have a baby to take care of. And maybe we’d have talked it all through and said no anyway, but now… now I kinda feel like… you took that decision away from me.”

“I cannot believe you just said that.”

“Well, I can’t believe you didn’t even bother to mention this offer to me. Eden! That was a fabulous offer! And I didn’t even get a say. We’re partners. You should’ve told me!”

I don’t know what to say. I am… mad? Sad? I’m not sure.

“I think,” Zoey says, “that what you did… was a little bit selfish. Because… because maybe you just sold out our best opportunity to make this work because you wanted to keep your stupid boyfriend who, in my opinion, isn’t even your boyfriend. You sold me out for a fling. And I’m upset about it.”

“Oh, my God! How can you even think that? I put everything on the line for this Sexpert stuff. I’ve been lying to everyone to keep our secret. And Andrew is not a fling! He’s a serious prospect!”

She stays silent for a few moments. Then she says, “Stevie is crying. I need to go.”

And then I get three quick beeps.

And Stevie was not crying. She just lied to me!

I huff at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. “What the hell?”

Because I don’t get it. Every time I have a great day something goes wrong.

Sexpert goes viral, my boss accuses us of stealing his idea.

We get a fabulous career opportunity and my best friend gets angry about a lost one.

Just… what the hell?

I blink at myself. Take another deep, deep breath. And say, “Pull yourself together, Presley. You can fix things with Zoey tomorrow. Tonight… tonight is the first night of your new future.”

And because I’m someone who ravels myself up in the face of adversity, I do that.

I put on my shimmery light blue summer dress, my most sparkling earrings and necklace, and fluff my blonde hair until it looks just fucked.

Because this is my night and I’m gonna make it count.

At five minutes to seven I leave my apartment, take the elevator up to the penthouse—trying not to hyperventilate with excitement—and find the door cracked open.

Just like he said it would be.

I knock anyway. “Knock, knock!” I call out. “I’m here!”

And then I smooth an imaginary wrinkle out of my dress and step into his apartment looking and feeling like a million bucks.

“Andrew?” And then I see him. Standing out on the terrace with his back to me. Hands in his pockets as he looks towards the sun just starting to dip below the mountains off in the distance.

He turns, his body backlit by the sunset, his face hidden, and we walk towards each other.

“Wow,” I say. “That’s some view.”

“Yes,” he says, his hand reaching for mine as we close the distance between us. “It’s pretty spectacular.”

I take his hand and let him pull me in for a kiss… on the cheek.

That makes me giggle. “Just a cheek kiss?” I ask, grinning up at him. “That’s all I get?”

“We’ll see,” he says.

I laugh again, but this time it’s smaller. “Um… is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. Is something wrong with you?”

“Uh. Nope,” I say, starting to feel odd. “Nope. Everything’s pretty good with me.”