Defensive Daddy

I rose to my feet, catching only a fleeting glimpse of his face. Very attractive, very confused, and...

Hurt.

Damn it, I thought to myself. The rational part of me knew he’d only been trying to help, but the humiliated part was bigger and much louder at the moment. It occurred to me to wonder if that was the new me—angry, harsh, and standoffish. Or, maybe that’s just what was left of the old me. The me I’d been with Ethan.

Either way, that version of me was dead, leaving only the smoldering fury inside me. And judging by the way I’d just lashed out at an innocent bystander, that smoldering fire was bound to ignite eventually, and when it did...well, I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.

CHAPTER TWO

COOPER

Opening the door to my apartment, I walked in and tossed my keys into the bowl on the table near the entryway. I unlaced my boots, kicking them off into the pile with my other boots—just one more thing in my life that needed reorganized. I thought back on the incident that had just happened in the hallway. All I’d tried to do was help the woman out, and she’d been a raging bitch about it.

But, she’d been a beautiful raging bitch about it.

I’d probably have spat out something just as vicious to match her anger, but I’d been a bit too stunned by her pretty little blue eyes to think of something. Her auburn hair only made them more vivid.

I couldn’t lie, the feistiness in her turned me on, and because of it, I was determined to get to know her. I could at least give it another chance, and maybe not catch her completely off guard next time. We were neighbours, after all.

Shuffling into the kitchen, I pulled out the bag of coffee and scooped some into a filter while I peered out the kitchen window. Snow was falling, and it reminded me of the fact I’d be out of commission for the next couple months.

For the next hockey season, that is. I’d like to think I’d gotten used to the idea, but the fact that I’d managed to tear my rotator cuff, preventing me from playing defense for my team this season only heightened my sense of cabin fever. I could play, but I risked further injury and possibly even surgery.

I couldn’t do that to Tommy. My son was young, only six months old, but he needed me just as much I needed him. And he needed me healthy, paying for all the required things as well as the cool shit available for kids nowadays, and able to be to the best daddy I could be when he’s with me.

I would still need to find something to occupy my time and get me through the winter, though. Not just for money, but for my sanity as well.

But what the hell would I do? I was a hockey player, a defenseman, and I’d spent my entire life practicing and preparing to be one. The only thing I’d ever been good at was winning hockey games. Well, until Tommy came into this world and showed me I was a pretty good dad, too.

The aroma of coffee filled the air. I grabbed my favorite Number One Daddy mug from the cabinet and paused at the sight of the matching Number One Mommy one tucked in the back.

How the hell had I not gotten rid of this, or at least given it to Zoey? And, how was it that something so simple and meaningless could cause so much pain to fill my chest? The hurt I’d been hiding and shoving away for months now resurfaced, all thanks to a stupid goddamn mug.

Two years of a serious relationship were flushed down the drain as soon as Zoey denied my proposal and broke things off with me immediately afterward. She’d just given birth to Tommy a few weeks prior, and I’d been so in love with her it’d never occurred to me she wouldn’t want to continue being parents together. As a family.

As if the rejection wasn’t bad enough—and that’s not an easy thing for a man to get over—and though it still hurt like hell, I had to admit that part of me was thankful she did it. Maybe she wasn’t the one for me, even though I’d thought she was. Sometimes, I still thought she was. But it took being away from her to realize that I had doubts. Just a sliver of doubt, but doubt, nonetheless.

I took a sip of my coffee and savored the bitter flavor, attempting to shake the thoughts of my failed relationship away. I couldn’t. I was alone in this place with no one to distract me. Tommy was thankfully still asleep in his crib despite the crash I’d heard in the hallway earlier, but I looked forward to the moment he awoke again to keep me company.

My life should have been vastly different at twenty-nine years old. I should have been married and been providing more for my family than this little apartment, living in our own home.

Christ, pull yourself together. I needed to get out, get some fresh air. I needed to clear my head. Tommy and I would bundle up and head out for a walk when he woke up.

I finished my coffee, then arranged my boots and my son’s outdoor clothes near the door. Through the adjoining wall, I heard a melodic voice singing a lullaby. It stopped me in my tracks.

She’s got a kid, I realized. Which meant she was undoubtedly with someone already. I didn’t remember seeing a ring on her finger, but she’d moved so hastily during our short conversation that I couldn’t be sure. I knew I was the last person who should be making assumptions, but I wagered it was a safe bet.

I stood there, listening through the wall. It took a moment to realize I’d been enamored by her soft singing.

I didn’t even know this woman’s name, and yet here I was, unable to move because of her. Running my fingers through my hair, a sigh passed my lips and I shook my head in disbelief at the power this woman already had over me.

***

I’d always been a morning person. Always enjoyed getting up at the same time the sun was just starting to peek out over the treetops and bask the world in golden hues and lengthy shadows. That’s where the quietness hid, in those early hours when the rest of the world slept, only to be jolted awake by blaring alarm clocks an hour or two later.

I’d never needed an alarm to wake me, and I didn’t wake up grumbling because of the things I had to get done during daylight hours. Because those things had always included hockey games, hockey practice, and most recently, my son.

What I woke up grumbling about now was the fact I had little planned for the day, and Zoey had come by last night to pick Tommy up.