“Are you serious about wanting to be with me? Because I gotta tell you that everyone else in my life couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”
Swallowing down my sorrow for her, I hold her tight. “You’ve no idea how much I want to keep you forever, and I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen.” I kiss her on the top of her head. “You’re mine, baby. I’m not going to lose you.”
What if she doesn’t want you? She hasn’t said one way or the other.
My insecurity whispers in my head and I can’t help but feel them crushing down on me, especially with her staying quiet. Have I totally screwed this up? I’m not asking her to be the other woman. I just know that I’ve lived apart from Brittany for six years, which is way over the minimum separation limit to be granted a divorce, so it shouldn’t take too long to become free.
No doubt my mom will have plenty to say about my final decision, although she didn’t seem her usual religious self when she was here yesterday. That could be a good thing, but it could also mean the shit’s about to hit the fan.
I love my family and they’ve always been there to support me right from the start. The biggest problem is that we’ve never seen eye to eye about Brittany and what I should do.
If I know I have Dahlia waiting for me, then I can get through anything. I just need Dahlia to realize how much I need her, and that I have no intention of letting her go. She holds my heart and as soon as I’m free to do so, I’m going to claim my girl.
Dahlia
There isn’t anything I want to do more than trust Ryder’s words, but how can I
? I’ve been let down too many times in my life to place my trust in someone I haven’t known long. It’s even hard for me to trust people that I’ve known for years. Ryder has my heart, and I’m not sure how he managed to get it when no one has in the past. He’s there to stay as well. That’s one thing I do know. In the end, I don’t think I have any choice but to trust him because the alternative—leaving Ryder—is unacceptable.
I’m sure I should be asking him questions, but nothing will form in my head. Everything is jumbled.
With Ryder holding me close, I can’t see his face but I feel the slight shake in his hands as he gently rubs up and down my back. I feel for him, and want to reassure him that I’m going to be with him every step of the way. But how am I going to manage to do that when I’m the reason he’s finally going to be getting a divorce? His family, and hers, will know that as well, which doesn’t sit too well with me. I don’t want to be the cause of a divorce, no matter the background.
As Ryder slides his fingers into my long hair, he gently massages my scalp, keeping me against him. In his arms, I feel as though there isn’t anything to worry about, and that we only have the other to think about—that’s my wish, anyway.
I kiss his chest and raise my head. All the light has gone out of his eyes when I finally meet his gaze. Tears form in mine at the loss I see in his. Because of my silence, does he think I’m going to walk away now that I know the truth? It’s what I should do . . . but I don’t have the strength.
With slight movement, I straddle him and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tight. A few seconds later, I feel him return my embrace.
I tongue his earlobe and feel him shiver beneath me. “I’m not going anywhere, Ryder. I should, but I can’t. You’re more than a friend to me. You know that, right?”
He nods.
“I don’t like the fact that everyone will know you’re getting a divorce because of me, but no matter what happens, I’m glad you’re finally going to have your life back. You didn’t deserve what happened, and neither did Brittany for that matter. I hate her for the lies she told to get you, but she didn’t deserve to have her life taken away the way that she has.”
With unsteady hands, I cup his face and place my lips over his in a sweet, all-consuming kiss. I need him to know that I mean every word I said.
“I can’t lose you, Dahlia,” he whispers against my lips.
“You’re not going to lose me . . . just promise to always be honest, and I’ll always be here.”
He pushes the hair back from my eyes. “I can do that, even if you don’t like what I’m going to say.” He slaps a quick kiss to my lips before grabbing hold of my butt. “Hold on.”
Gripping me against him, he stands and I wrap my legs around his waist, bringing us up close and personal. He stumbles before righting himself. “You keep that up, and all my good intentions will go right out of the window.”
I wiggle closer and grin when I feel his desire—hard and long against where I want him the most.
“You feel good.” I suck his earlobe into my mouth and feel him shudder against me, seconds before I feel my back hit the wall.
Ryder buries his face in my shoulder while trying to catch his breath. “You set my body on fire.” He starts to bite along my neck and follows it with swirls of his tongue. “But we need to stop.” He thrusts his hips against my core. “I want you naked, Dahlia. But with everything you’ve said, we’re going to wait, because when I finally get inside you I have no intention of leaving for a very long time. And I don’t want you to have any regrets, which you’ll have as long as I’m still legally married. I, at the very least, need to have a chat with a lawyer and see what he suggests for the quickest way to be free of my marriage. I’ve waited years to put an end to something I should have dealt with at the beginning. I’m not just doing this for you so we can be together; I’m doing it for me as well.”
I’m listening and admiring his restraint, but right now I’m sure if both my feet were on the ground, I’d have stamped them in frustration. I’ve never had sex with anyone, but I certainly know what an orgasm feels like, and I’m on the edge of release, or I was until Ryder moved his hips out of reach.
“Ugh.”
He grins with a wicked glint in his eyes. “I turn you on.”
What a dick.