Seth sighed, his fingers stroking my hand.
“I miss him too, Em. The pain is never going to go away, but we just have to try and get through it. We have to do it for him.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Emily
It had been two weeks since Andy’s death. Every day that passed was supposed to be easier. It wasn’t. I missed him so much, and I missed Seth, but the guilt I felt when I thought about Seth…it was too much.
My phone vibrated. I picked it up and saw another message from Seth—the tenth today¸ and it was only two in the afternoon. A wave of irritation rushed through me. Didn’t he get that I didn’t want to see him right now? I didn’t want to see anyone.
You don’t want to see me, and that’s fine, but I need to know you’re okay.
“I’ll be okay when you leave me alone,” I muttered, tossing the phone across the bed. I rolled over and pulled the covers up over me. Yeah, I was in bed. So what? So what if I’d spent a good part of the last two weeks in bed?
I snuggled up against his pillow. It still smelled like him. If I closed my eyes and imagined hard enough, it was almost like he was there with me. But he wasn’t. He was dead, and I was alone.
***
My eyes opened. It took me a moment to adjust to the darkness that surrounded me. Cold, I felt over my stomach and realized the covers had slipped off me. I moved over in the bed, over to his side, rearranging the blankets over me.
The clock stared back at me. 3:04.
Another day gone.
Something hard dug into my side. I reached underneath me and pulled out my phone. More messages, more missed calls—although this time from Seth and Deb.
Deb came around every day. She would bring food—which would usually end up in the trash—and sit with me. She didn’t try to make me talk, or get up, because she understood. Everything I was going through, she was going through too. Just having each other was a comfort on some level.
I pushed back the covers and stood up, the urge to pee too strong to ignore.
I should really shower. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. It was like I was stuck, frozen in this stage and I couldn’t move past it. I wasn’t eating, I didn’t get dressed. All I did was sleep.
Because in my dreams, he’s still with me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Seth
I sat at my desk, staring at my laptop. I thought coming back to work would help me keep my mind of things. And for the most part, it did. Until something reminded me of Andy. And then I’d lose it. He’d been gone for three weeks and five days, and it had been almost as long since I’d seen Em. I hated how much my heart ached at the thought of her. Losing Andy had been hard enough; losing Em too was unbearable.
The soft rapping on my office door caught my attention. I looked up. My boss, Ian, smiled at me sympathetically. They had been surprisingly supportive of everything—much more so than I had expected.
“Are you sure you want to be here, Seth? I told you to take as much time as you needed.”
“Thanks, but I think I need the distraction, you know?”
Ian nodded. “If there’s anything we can do, let us know.” He smiled again before walking off.
Sighing, I reached for my phone, checking for a message that I knew wouldn’t be there. How was Em doing? She wouldn’t answer my texts or calls, but that didn’t stop me from trying. I got little bits of information from Deb, but even she was struggling to get through to her. I was so worried, but I had no idea what else to do.
After lunch, I walked back into my office and found a package on my desk. Picking the package up, my heart began to pound as I saw the handwriting. I didn’t need to check the return address to know it was from Andy.
I sat down, the package in front of me. When had he sent this? And why had it taken so long to reach me? It had been nearly four weeks since he’d died. I ran my fingers over the smooth wrapping, staring at his handwriting. It was heavier than a letter, but not much thicker.
What was it?
I swallowed. Maybe this was my way back into her life. A gift from Andy…she would have to see me for this. There was no way she couldn’t.