“And?” Not that I needed to ask. His lack of eye contact told me everything I needed to know. “She hates us, doesn’t she? Not that I blame her.”
“I refuse to let you feel guilty about us,” he said, his voice gruff. He took hold of my hand and I sighed.
“That’s just it. I feel bad for her seeing us like that, but guilt? No. I don’t feel bad about us.” I paused, wetting my lips.
“But?” he pushed, sensing my hesitation.
“But I don’t know if that’s enough.” I sat up, pushing my legs over the edge of the bed. “I’ve lost so many people close to me. How many more can I lose? I love you, I really do, but I don’t know what to do here.”
“Do what feels right,” he said. “Does being with me feel right? If everyone was okay with us being together, then what would you want?”
“You,” I whispered.
He moved closer until his mouth was on mine. But things weren’t that easy, were they? I inhaled sharply when his fingers touched my neck. His lips synced against mine, then he moved slightly until our foreheads touched. I opened my eyes and stared straight into his.
“You know how I feel. I’ll never leave you, Em.”
I smiled. But as much as I loved hearing those words, I knew that sometimes life didn’t give you a choice.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Seth
“I’ve got something to say.”
Opening my front door and seeing Em standing there, I’d been shocked.
“Come in,” I said. I walked into the living room and sat down.
She followed, and perched herself in front of me on the edge of the coffee table. Her hands gripped the underside of the wooden frame. Her brow creased and she frowned, her expression serious.
We hadn’t spoken much about Deb—or us—since the incident the week before. Nor had we heard from her. I was disappointed, but still hopeful that one day she would understand.
“You’re worrying me,” I said with a nervous chuckle. I reached out, my fingers brushing over her thigh before falling back into my lap.
“Don’t worry,” she assured me. My nerves settled, but I was still wondering why she was here. “I just wanted to do this right. I’ve been thinking a lot about us. I don’t want to lose you, Seth. I don’t think I could handle just being your friend, nor do I want to. I wish we had Deb’s support more than anything, but I can’t lose you too.”
Relief washed through me. I was sure she had been about to end things with me. Hearing her say she wanted us to work made me happier than I’d been in forever.
“You don’t know what it means to hear you say that,” I muttered. Sitting forward, I took her face in my hands and kissed her.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Emily
Six months later.
“What is it?” I asked Seth. He put his phone away and walked over to me.
“That was Deb. She wants to see us.”
“Now?” My eyes widened. We hadn’t communicated in more than six months, after she had made it clear we were no longer welcome in their life. What could she possibly have to say to us now?
“I said we would go.” He looked as shocked as I felt. He pressed his hand against mine. “What could she want?” he asked, echoing my thoughts.
Nearly nine months had passed since I’d lost Andy. Not a day went by where I didn’t think about him, but for the most part it was happy memories that occupied my thoughts. Having his support had made it easier to
fall into a relationship with Seth.