I hung up without responding. I was the king of stupid.
***
I woke up in the afternoon with the world’s worst hangover.
All of my actions from the following night came flooding back to me. Well, what I actually remembered, anyway. The stench of scotch and sweat filled my nostrils, almost making me gag. Stumbling out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom.
The spray of the water from the showerhead stung my skin like a thousand bees ramming their stingers into my face. I felt like shit—exactly how I deserved to be feeling. I stayed under the hot water until my skin began to shrivel.
After I had dressed, I poured myself a coffee and slumped onto the sofa, where I wasn’t planning on moving from for the rest of the day. I turned on the television, desperate to keep my mind off the last twenty-four hours. Mr. Jefferies curled up next to me, oblivious to my mood. I should’ve been at work, but actually going in never even occurred to me. As far as I was concerned I no longer had a job.
“Jack, it’s Belle.”
I jumped at the pounding on the door. Eventually, I stood up and walked over to let her in. She was the last person I wanted to see because all I felt when I thought about her was guilt. She hugged me and closed the door, following me over to the sofa.
“You look like shit. How did your work dinner go?” she asked, kissing me. I forced myself to smile.
“Okay. Work is work, you know? I missed you,” I said honestly. She smiled and tucked herself under my arm.
“I missed you too. I’ve been thinking—I want to tell my parents about us.” She spoke confidently, as if she’d been thinking about this for a while. She had that much faith in us as a couple that she would risk the support of her family for me. And I had fucked her over.
“Do you think that’s such a good idea?” was all I said.
She shrugged. “What is the alternative? I’m eighteen, the worst they can do is cut me out of their life,” she joked. The look on her face told me that was a real possibility.
“At least wait until your exams are over,” I said, reaching for her hand. “The last thing you need now is more distractions.” I would tell her about Lisbeth, but not until her exams were over. If she decided she couldn’t forgive me, then at least I wouldn’t have ruined her future.
She giggled and lifted herself onto me. “Yes, I suppose you’re a distraction enough.”
I smiled as she kissed me, her lips teasing me as her tongue circled around mine.
“Why aren’t you at work?” she asked suddenly.
“Because my father and I had a difference of opinion,” I said dryly. I moved my hands under her top, running them up her bare back. I breathed in. No bra again. She shivered against my touch, her lips curving into a smile.
“Why aren’t you at school?” I whispered, my hand moving down and under her skirt.
“Because it’s study week,” she giggled.
“And are you learning a lot?” I asked, sucking her earlobe. She laughed. Sitting up, she lifted her top over her head. I grabbed at her breasts, massaging them softly.
“I’m learning plenty,” she whispered softly. She leaned down, her hair falling in my face.
“Jack! Open this fucking door right now!”
Both Belle and I jumped. Shit. My father. My father was here and that meant he knew. Fuck.
“Go in the bedroom,” I whispered to her, yanking my top back down. I ran my hand through my hair, waiting until she was safely in the room before I opened the door.
He stormed in, looking as pissed off as I’d ever seen him. He thrust a paper toward me.
“What the fuck is this Jack? I ask you to entertain her and her breasts are over every newspaper with your hands all over them! Are you aware that they are both on their way back to Italy right now? If you wanted to fuck me over, you certainly did it!” he roared, thrusting the paper at me. I stared at the images of Lisbeth waving her arms wildly, topless with my hands over her nipples. The next picture showed me kissing her, my tongue clearly invading her mouth. I didn’t remember that moment. I felt sick as I stared at the pictures, but my anger towards my father took over.
“Isn’t that what you wanted? For me to do what I do best? Well, fucking women is what I do best, Father. Surely you expected this from your useless asshole of a son!” I yelled, following him out into the hallway.
“You know what, Jack? You and Alex are both nothing but disappointments to me. You’ve both caused me nothing but grief. As far as I’m concerned, I have no sons. I’m done with the both of you.”
His words came out quietly and full of spite, and all I could do was watch him walk away. This wasn’t anger talking, this was my father revealing his real feelings toward us both—feelings he’d harbored for a long time. I walked back inside my flat feeling deflated and angry.