“Jack?” Belle sat on the floor, the newspaper in her shaking hands, her expression hurt an
d angry. “Tell me this is a mistake,” she demanded.
I stood there helplessly. There was nothing I could say.
“Did you fuck her?” she asked, her voice raising.
“Belle, no—” I said, trying to explain.
“Did you kiss her, after this picture? Tell me what happened Jack, or I swear—” She stopped as I held up my hand.
“We kissed, she took off her dress, and she tried to suck my dick but I stopped her. Then I left. Are you happy?” I said flatly. She glared at me, her eyes full of tears.
“You’re making this out to be my fault?” she gasped. She got to her feet, sobs escaping from her throat. “I trusted you, Jack.”
“And I told you all I’d end up doing was hurt you,” I replied quietly.
“Did you do this on purpose? Are you trying to push me away?” she cried. “Because if you are, it’s sure as hell working!” She brushed past me and out the door. My biggest regret was that I did nothing to stop her.
I let her go.
Chapter Twenty
The pounding on my door became too loud to ignore. Someone couldn’t take a fucking hint. Another bottle of scotch, another night wasted. It was dark, but I had no idea what time it was—or even what day it was—and I didn’t care.
“I’m coming,” I muttered loudly, sitting up. I waited until the room stopped spinning before I gingerly got to my feet. I stumbled over to the door, unlocking the latch and swinging it open. Luke stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, his face white.
Fucking hell. Had she gone running straight to him? Had she told him what an asshole I was? This was all stuff I knew already, and I sure as hell didn’t need to hear it from him.
“Luke, you’re wasting your breath. Go home,” I mumbled. Luke reached for my arm. Something in the way he touched me made my heart jump. I raised my eyes to meet his. He was crying, the tears running freely down his cheeks.
“Jack, it’s Belle. She’s dead.”
***
“She was driving around a corner, and she lost control of the wheel and hit a tree. The police said she was killed instantly.”
Luke stood next to me as I bent over the kitchen counter, my heart racing. I felt sick. And dizzy, like I was going to faint. This had to be a joke. Any minute I was going to wake up and the last few days would’ve been a dream. She couldn’t be gone. How the fuck was I supposed to live without her?
“When?” I asked, my voice hoarse.
“Yesterday afternoon. They’re not sure what time.” He hesitated. “She wasn’t found until ten o’clock last night,” he added softly. I let out a loud sob.
Yesterday afternoon.
That meant she must have been driving home from my house when she died.
If only I’d kept my dick in my pants, this never would’ve happened. I had been so focused on ruining things for my father that what was most important to me had slipped through my fingers.
She was gone, forever. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and smashed against a brick wall. My throat constricted as I fought for air. Struggling to take a breath, Luke touched my back.
“Are you okay? Jack, I don’t even know what to say. I know I wasn’t supportive of you guys, but I could see how much she loved you,” he said. “And I know you loved her.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. The pain I was feeling was nothing like I’d ever felt before. Right now, I just wanted to die. I lifted my head from my hands, but said nothing. Luke stood next to me awkwardly, not sure what he could say to make this better. I walked over to the window that overlooked the balcony and stared outside. The sky was overcast, and a band of grey clouds were threatening to open over the city.
This couldn’t be happening. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was the hurt in hers before she left. She walked out and I did nothing to stop her. What if I had gone after her? If I had stopped her from leaving, even only for a few minutes, she would still be here today.
“Luke, do you mind leaving? I need to be alone.” The voice that came out didn’t even sound like mine.