You’re forever in my heart, but now I need to set you free.
I don’t want to live without you, I need you by my side,
But now you’ve got you wings, Angel, I want you to fly.
Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,
I’m so into you baby, that this is what I wanna do,
These feelings make me nervous, something so new,
But I’m into you darlin’ and I’m gonna see this through
Everything that is beautiful is caught up in you,
Oh Angel, everything that is beautiful is only you.
I put the guitar down, resting my head on the case as I stretched out on the ground next to her. I was sobbing like a baby. Any plan I had of holding myself together had flown out the window the moment I began to sing. She would have loved it. I knew that, but it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.
I cursed myself for not bringing a flower or something to place on the grave. Not that she needed any. There had to be over ten bunches of flowers, all neatly arranged over the fresh soil. I lay there thinking and feeling guilty. I was about to embark on a new life, a new beginning, and I was leaving her here. Sitting up, I brushed the dirt from off my clothes. If I didn’t leave right then, I would miss my flight.
Getting to my feet, I stood there for a moment, not sure how to say goodbye. The song didn’t feel like enough, but I had no words inside me that could come close to summarizing how I was feeling.
“I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you that when it mattered, but I love you and I will
always love you.” I wiped my eyes, and picked up the guitar case. Then I did the hardest thing I had ever had to do.
I walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Three months later.
All things considered, it had been a pretty good day. Most days were hard. I still thought about Belle all the time, and Alex was always on my back about getting some therapy, but today I’d done something I know would’ve made Belle proud.
It started the week before when I saw an ad in the paper for an open mic at a local bar. I tore out the ad, shoved it in my pocket, and ran through reason after reason as to why it was a bad idea. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to talk myself out of it.
Today, I’d woken up and found that little piece of paper scrunched up in the pocket of my jeans. What made that day different from any other day, I don’t know, but I took my guitar and I went to that bar and put my name down to sing.
Okay, so the crowd wasn’t huge—maybe twenty people, max, but for the first time in my life I performed in front of the public. What’s more, I fucking loved it. I’d written a few more songs over the past couple of months, most of them about Belle, but Angel’s Song was always the one I was going to sing. And dammit, I sang it well. I sang it so well, the bar’s owner offered me a regular spot every Sunday. He was even prepared to supplement me with a few shifts behind the bar. It was nothing too stressful, which sounded perfect for the time being. For the first time, I was actually feeling this new beginning for what it was: a chance to live my life for me and nobody else.
For that, I thanked Belle.
Follow Jack’s story in Beautiful Rose. Expected release: November 2013
See below for the Synopsis of Beautiful Rose
For as long as she can remember, Rose Wilson has felt empty inside, she moves through her perfect life wishing it would all just go away.
Everything. Gone.
She feels nothing but the overwhelming desire to end it all and she has no idea why. She has a normal life, with a supportive family, good friends and she is getting near perfect grades in her first year of college. Yet nothing can fill the gaping hole she feels inside, nothing except knowing she can make it all go away.
At their wits end after another failed suicide attempt and desperate to help their daughter, Rose’s parents admit her into the best facility in California.
Jack Falcon is a new man. He’s left everything that defined him back home in London and he’s determined to make his new life in California work. He knows he can’t undo the wrongs of his past, but he sure as hell can be in control of his future. He has worked hard to move forward and nothing is going to undo that.
Until he meets Rose.