It was stupid thinking that way and I knew that, but my stupid insecurities didn’t care about the facts. They just fed on the way Simon’s eyes lit up when he was talking to Claire, or the years of memories they shared. It didn’t help matters that Claire was now single. He had forgiven Claire for the affair, what if he realized he still loved her?
The idea of that scared the hell out of me.
“Emma?”
I glanced back at Claire, who was looking down at me, concerned.
“Should I call 911 or something?” she asked, her face creased into a frown. I shook my head.
“No, seriously, I’m fine. I just felt a bit dizzy but I’m fine now,” I promised, embarrassed that she was making so much of this. “Really,” I added with a smile because smiles made everything more believable.
Claire nodded, still not convinced. She walked over to retrieve her coffee from the kitchen counter and joined me on the sofa, placing one leg over the other. I tried not to stare at her slim, toned body. Next to her I felt like a sack of potatoes.
“How have you been feeling? Simon mentioned the doctor thinks things are going well,” she added. I eyed her suspiciously. When had he spoken to her? And why did I feel so wound up whenever she said his name?
“Oh?” I said casually, picking up my drink, “when did you speak to him?” Claire’s face colored slightly.
“He called me last night to speak to Maddie,” she said hastily.
Right. Suddenly her impromptu visit didn’t seem so out of the blue. He’d asked her to drop in on me, I was sure of it and it really pissed me off.
He thought I needed a babysitter? Fine, he didn’t like me spending all day alone, but if he’d just simply asked me I would’ve told him that Cass was coming over anyway. Claire sensed my anger and looked uncomfortable as she placed her empty cup down on the coffee table.
“Listen Emma, he was just worried about you being home alone all day,” she said, not bothering to try and cover up the obvious. I nodded, not wanting to make a big deal of it.
“Its fine,” I assured her, trying to calm the seething fire rising inside of me. The last thing I wanted was for her to know how much this bothered me, not that I was hiding my feelings very well.
Why did this make me so angry? After an awkward few minutes where neither of us spoke, Claire finally gathered her and Maddie’s things.
“We might leave you to get some rest,” she said, her voice uneasy. I nodded, smiling at Maddie.
“See you Emmy!” Maddie sang out, throwing her arms around me for a hug. I squeezed her back, kissing her cheek.
“See you this weekend, Maddie,” I promised waving them off.
Chapter Eight
Emma
“I think you’re overreacting,” Cass said, rolling her eyes as she reached for another cookie. It had been over two hours since Claire had been here and my anger still felt so raw.
“I know I am, but I can’t help it. She’s so…nice,” I said, as if the word was disgusting. “I just keep thinking she’s right there, waiting in the wings, so she can swoop back in and steal him from me. I know that’s stupid, I really do,” I added sullenly.
“Do you trust Simon?” Cass asked. I looked at her, shocked by the question. Did she really just ask me that?
“Of course I do,” I answered hotly, “It’s her I worry about.”
“Em, if you trust him, then she doesn’t matter. Regardless of how paranoid I think you’re being, if you trust him, then that’s it.” Cass shrugged, her palms turned upward.
Sighing, I threw my head back. If only my thoughts were that easy to turn off. I did trust him, but trust wasn’t the issue, the issue was me. I’d never had to open myself up to someone before and going from completely depending on myself to including someone else was hard.
“Enough about this, we need to talk about Tom.” Cass looked at me seriously, her expression grim.
“What about Tom?” I asked suspiciously. I had a feeling where this was going and I knew I was not going to like it.
“Well I’m really into him right, but all we seem to do is have sex,” Cass sighed.
“Cass,” I said laughing, “I’m not sure I want to hear about this.” Thinking about Tom and Cass having sex was an image I didn’t want in my head. “And so what? You love sex,” I added, rolling my eyes. That was why they were so perfect for each other.