After Cass left, I went to have my usual post lunch nap. Having an excuse to have an afternoon nap was fantastic and what was even better was my nightmares had subsided down to only the occasional one a week. I didn’t dread closing my eyes, because now I had at least a chance of getting a decent night’s sleep. My eyes had barely been closed for a minute when my cell went. I looked at caller ID.
Simon.
“Hello,” I said, my voice clipped, still annoyed at him for asking Claire to come over. I was probably much angrier than I should have been, but not ready to forgive him just yet.
“Hey,” he said warmly, oblivious to my anger. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. I had a visit from Claire this morning,” I added with fake surprise.
“Oh?” Simon said uneasily, I could imagine him squirming in his seat.
“Drop the act Simon, I know you asked her to drop by,” I growled angrily. Why was I so annoyed? I knew the only reason he’d asked her to come past was because he was worried about me, but for some reason I couldn’t let this go.
“Look I’m sorry Em, but I was worried about you. I’m never there and-.”
“Then tell me when you’re arranging for your ex-wife to visit. Or at least give me the chance to organize a babysitter I actually like.” My hand shot to cover my mouth when what I’d said filtered back to my brain. That had come out much harsher than I’d intended.
“Why don’t you just tell me how you really feel, don’t hold back or anything, Emma,” Simon said bitterly.
“Look, I didn’t mean that. You know I like Claire, I just don’t appreciate being treated like a child. I had enough of that from my parents,” I added, my tone less angry now.
That was true. This was exactly the kind of thing I expected my mother to do. I cannot tell you how glad I was when they booked an impromptu six month trip to Europe. They would arrive home just before my due date and I hadn't informed them that my pregnancy was such a high risk. I’m sure they never would’ve have booked the trip had they known, but dealing with mom through all of this would’ve been hell. I’d have taken Claire any day.
“Em, I love you, can we talk about this later?” he pleaded softly.
“Fine,” I sighed, “love you too,” I added, never wanting to end a conversation in a fight. After we hung up, I turned off my cell.
My head still throbbed and I wasn’t sure if it was the conversation with Simon, or the fact that I hadn’t eaten much today, apart from a couple of cookies and my stale breakfast. I wasn’t hungry, in fact, I was the opposite. Feeling nauseated, I decided to try and get down a sandwich at least. Things had gone pretty well when it came to morning sickness. Weeks five through to twelve I’d had pretty constant morning sickness that lasted most of the day. This was the first time since then I’d actually felt sick.
It was only three o’clock and I probably had a few hours until Simon got home. Chances of more visitors today were unlikely. I grabbed two Tylenol and a glass of water and sat on the couch. Opening my laptop, I saw there were a few emails waiting for me. The first was from Maria.
Over the past few months we had been emailing and talking regularly. I was finally beginning to feel like I belonged somewhere. It sounded strange, but I think I felt more comfortable talking to Maria than I did my mom. We had a lot in common and hearing about her and her family…or my family was so interesting. I?
??d spoken to my sisters a few times too.
Hi Emma,
I hope you’re well, I’m glad to hear the pregnancy is going so well. I hope you’re able to relax enough to actually enjoy this special time. There really is no other feeling like being pregnant.
I cannot wait to meet you, Simon and my two little grandchildren. Things here are much the same, work and not much else.
How are the wedding plans going?
All my love,
Maria
I smiled as I read the email. One thing that struck me right away was how she referred to Maddie as her grandchild. I loved that. I knew my parents well enough to know that even though it would be unintentional, they would treat bean different to how they treat Maddie. I clicked on reply.
Hi Maria,
I’m trying my hardest to enjoy these last few months, but it's hard when every bump or cramp scares the hell out of me. It gets easier each day though.
I can’t wait to see you either! Any idea if you are able to get over for the wedding yet? It wouldn’t be the same without you here. I’m looking forward to meeting my sisters too. I always wanted siblings :)
Talk soon,
Love Em xx