The next email was from Mandy. Simon didn’t know this, but Mandy and I had been emailing since four weeks after the attack. I’d mentioned her to Simon last night because I hated doing anything behind his back. Her mother had come by to thank me one day while Simon was out.
We had spoken for over two hours and I’d asked her to pass on my email to Mandy in case she ever needed to talk. I’d received an email from her about a week later. After that first email, we corresponded a few times a week. I think it helped both of us knowing we were not alone. The next step would be for us to meet in person, maybe once a week, but only when she felt ready. Judging from her emails that would be a while.
Emma,
Thank you for your email.
I guess I’m doing okay. I have to force myself to do stuff with my friends and I can’t remember the last time I slept longer than three hours, but compared to how I was a few months ago, I’m great :)
I love hearing about you and the baby. Even when you tell me about how you get nervous and sad, it helps that I’m not alone.
Thanks for helping me.
Mandy
Every email I got from Mandy left me feeling sad. I really felt for her and the childhood she’d lost at the hands of a lunatic who never should’ve been released from jail in the first place. All I felt in her words were hurt and despair. I often worried that she might do something to herself, to the point where I’d spoken to her mom a few times to check that she was okay. I replied to her email, telling her I hoped we could meet face to face soon.
The final email was from Simon. I looked at the time, it had been sent an hour ago, just after our stupid little argument.
Em, I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive your little cute monkey?
Smiling, I replied to his email.
Love you too. More than anything. Of course I forgive you. Xx
Shutting the laptop, I put it on the floor next to me and stretched out on the couch.
The throbbing in my head was worse, to the point where even moving my eyes was painful. Stifling a yawn, I willed myself to sleep just so I could get some relief. Maybe when I woke up it would be gone.
Chapter Ten
Simon
We didn’t argue often, but when we did I hated it.
When I’d asked Claire to check in on her, in the back of my mind I was telling myself what a bad idea it was and that Em was bright enough to see right through it.
Why the fuck would I think she’d be okay with my ex checking up on her?
I got her insecurities toward Claire, I really did. Hell if I had to deal with an ex of Emma’s constantly in the picture I’d have probably lost it by now. Even the thought of another man checking her out sent me into a frenzy.
Sometimes I wondered who the twenty year old was; me or her. Still, I couldn’t turn off the worry. Cass already did so much for us that I hated leaning on her even more. With neither of our families close by at the moment, Claire was my only option.
Like any other fight, I knew it would be short-lived, but I still hated the feeling her being angry at me gave me.
Driving home from work I cursed at the traffic, which was backed up right up onto the freeway. A ten mile drive shouldn’t take nearly an hour to complete.
It was Friday, which meant after this weekend only one more week working in the city. Things would be different from there on in. The past few months had been so stressful on us; losing my job at the University in the wake of my relationship with Em and having to put in extra hours at the DA’s office so they would approve the transfer. From here on, it was about me, Em, our baby and of course Maddie.
There lay the problem. Maddie meant there would always be Claire. I loved Maddie to pieces and would always be there for her, but if I had to choose between my friendship with Claire and Em, it would always be Em. She knew that, right? She had to know that, they both did.
Things between Em and Claire had gotten more strained in the last month when Claire split up with Jason. Claire had become somewhat clingy, always finding excuses to come over, or to call me, usually using Maddie as the excuse. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel something shift in Claire’s feelings toward me, but I was completely and utterly invested in Em and that’s what mattered, right? I never encouraged anything from Claire and I was positive that even if she did have feelings for me she’d never act on them. Maddie was too important to the both of us for her to risk ruining our relationship.
As I guided the car into the garage it struck me that this was one of the last times I would be getting home from work so late. Meetings always added an extra hour onto the workdays later in the week.
Carol met me at the door, meowing, which meant she was hungry. Carol usually did everything she could to avoid contact with me. I could see Em asleep on the couch, so I went into the laundry room to fill Carol’s food bowl. She purred thankfully, scoffing down her food.
Quietly, I crept into the living room. The TV was off and Em was fast asleep. Sitting down on the edge of the coffee table, I stared at her, completely captivated. She was so damn beautiful. She brought forth emotions in me I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling.