" 'What's his full name?' I asked. 'You can tell me, can't you?¡¯
" 'Please do tell us his full name,' asked Aunt Queen with a decisive nod.
" 'Tommy Harrison,' said Grady. 'Harrison is Terry Sue's last name. I believe the child is illegitimate. In fact, I know the child is illegitimate. ¡¯
"My mood grew even darker. Who was I to judge Pops, I thought. Who was I to judge the man who had just left me so much wealth and who might have done otherwise? Who was I to judge him that he had left little Tommy Harrison in such a situation? But it weighed on me. And it weighed on me that Patsy's character had perhaps been shaped by her lifelong struggle against a man who did not believe in her.
"Our farewells were being exchanged.
"I had to come to the surface. And off we went to lunch with Nash at Blackwood Manor.
"As we came out of the office Goblin appeared, attired as I was, my double again, but dour as he had been in the hospital, though not sneering, only solemn if not sad. He walked beside me to the car, and I felt that he knew my sadness, my disillusionment, and I turned to him and put my arm around him and he felt firm and good.
" 'It's changing, Quinn,' he said to me.
" 'No, old buddy, it can't change,' I said in his ear.
"But I knew he was right. I had things to do now. Places to go. And people to meet. "
Chapter23
23
"WHAT BROUGHT ME out of my daze about the newfound uncle and Pops' wealth was the view of all the old wicker, painted white and grouped on the side flagstone terrace to the right of Blackwood Manor, just as it had been in my dreams of Rebecca. This was furniture I'd requisitioned from the attic, but the task of restoration had been completed while I lay in the hospital, and I marveled now to see the gathering of couches and chairs just as it had been when Rebecca served me her mythical coffee.
" 'Mona's going to understand,' I murmured aloud, 'and that man, that kindly man, Stirling Oliver, he'll understand, and then there's Nash, Nash who seemed as great and kind as a teacher could be, Nash who gave me hope that I would get through this strange time with some equanimity. ¡¯
"But when he entered the front hall I was stunned to see a pile of luggage by the door, and Nash, in a blue suit and tie, with a hand out for my shoulder.
" 'I can't stay, Quinn, but I must talk to your Aunt Queen before I talk to you. Let me have those moments with her now. ¡¯
"I was devastated. 'No,' I said, 'you have to tell me. It's what I said, wasn't it, all the things I told you, you think I'm insane, and you think it's going to be like this always, but I swear --. ¡¯
" 'No, Quinn, I don't think you're insane,' he said. 'But understand I must leave. Now let me speak with Miss Queen alone. I promise I won't leave without telling you. ¡¯
"I let them go into the front parlor together, and then I went into the kitchen for lunch, where Jasmine was just telling Big Ramona that they were rich. I hated to break up their happiness with my glum looks and I blamed it all on hunger. Besides, Jasmine had always been rich and so was Big Ramona. They just never wanted to leave Blackwood Manor, everybody knew.
"And since one thing I could always do was eat, I devoured a platter of Sunday chicken and dumplings.
"Finally, I could resist the suspense no longer. I went to the parlor door, and Aunt Queen beckoned for me.
" 'Now darling, Nash is under the impression that you'll be disturbed in time by the fact that he hasn't so much chosen a bachelor's life as been rather predisposed to it. ¡¯
" 'I have it all in a letter here, Quinn,' said Nash in his kindly but authoritative manner.
" 'Are you telling me you're gay?' I asked.
"Aunt Queen was shocked.
" 'Well, to be frank,' said Nash, 'that's exactly what I intended to tell you. ¡¯
" 'I knew that last night,' I said. 'Oh, don't worry that you gave it away with some obvious gesture or mannerism. You didn't. I just sensed it because I'm probably that way myself; at least, I'm bisexual, I have no doubt of that. ¡¯
"I was greeted by a stunned silence from Nash, and from Aunt Queen a low pleasant laughter. Of course I'd just made a little confession that might have hurt her, but I was very sure Nash would not be hurt at all.
" 'Oh my precocious one,' she said. 'You never fail to charm me. Bisexual is it, how Byronic and charming. Doesn't that double one's chances for love? I'm so delighted. ¡¯
"Nash continued to stare at me as if he could think of nothing whatsoever to say, and then I realized what had happened.