Deviation

“No, Mom. Apparently, I was wrong. Let’s go, Jack. Nothing has changed and it never will. Goodbye, Mom. I love you, but I don’t want you in my life like this.”

I storm out of the trailer and run to the car. My heart and head are torn up from coming back here, and I’m angry at Jack for making me.

Jack

“Ms. Willows…” I don’t know what to call her, and I’m sure I don’t want to speak to this horrible woman ever again. I got the information I needed and, hopefully, some closure for Edith.

“Edna. You can call me Edna.”

“Of course. Edna, I was hoping there would be some change, something Edie could take away from here that was a happy memory for her, but I was wrong. I’m sorry we came today.” I don’t know what else to say. I pretty much fucked up this whole outing, and I was about to do worse in the next hour.

“Jack, I love my daughter, but I don’t know how to love her.” The sad woman sits back down at the table and pours another drink, staring at it. I don’t know what to say because this would have gone better if she had just told her that instead of the hateful things she said

“Well, maybe you’ll figure that out someday and be able to tell her before it’s too late. Her graduation ceremony is in late May. I’m really proud of her and I wish you could be, too. If you want to come, here’s my card.” I hand it to her. “Call me.”

We both nod and I leave, following Edith to the car. She’s already sitting in it, her seat belt secure. I probably should not have invited her mother to graduation but, like an idiot, the first idea, good or bad, seems to be popping into my head. I’m just a well of shitty good intentions today.

“She say anything meaningful to you?” Edith softly asks.

I’m torn, but it’s not my tale to tell, so I shrug. “She wishes you well, baby. Let’s go.” She nods and looks out the window towards the trailer. I don’t know if she thinks I’m lying, but it’s the best I can do. I definitely fucked this up.

I drive back to the highway and head towards Cherry Hill, my own stomach in painful knots.

I think back to our conversation on the porch this morning and what she told me. “You can say it, Jack. I’m broken. A mess. I’m not the whole person you thought you were getting when we started this thing.” She avoided eye contact, staring out into the distance, sitting on the stairs with a dejected look on her face, and my heart cracked wide open.

The fissures are deep, ugly and raw. My stubborn girl won’t let me in to share her pain, not a single lick of it. Am I mad at her? Hell, yes, but I’m in love with her, and love will always outweigh the mad. I just wish she would trust in that love as much as I do.

“Baby, you are anything but broken to me. You are the strongest set of shoulders I have ever met. Where any other normal person would shatter in to a million pieces, you bend.”

“So I’m not even normal?” She frowned and her voice shook. She didn’t comprehended what I had been saying to her this entire time.

“Never something as mundane as normal, baby. You are incredible.”

Leave it to Edith to think that I saw something wrong with her. The bruised self-esteem is something I could and would blame her destructive parents for. My fiery gentle girl is lost. She needs a reason to fight, not just for us but for herself. If things are ever going to get better for us, I need Edith to fight again.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Edith

“We’re here.” Caught up in my mix of bad memories, I don’t notice Jack driving down the long driveway lined with tall, bare trees. I large building sits isolated on the hill we’ve driven up.

“Where is here?” I unclick my seat belt, sliding it off, scanning the building for a sign.

“Before we go in, I want to give you something. All I ask is that you keep an open mind.”

Jack places a red velvet box in my hands. I look at him and he nods for me to open it. He looks nervous as hell and part of me, even though I’m still mad, wants to crawl into his lap and comfort him. I like it better when the only thing we have to worry about is getting caught by someone on campus for our relationship. I know it’s not a ring. The box is all weird, and I’ve helped Aiden pick out enough pieces of jewelry for Shelby to know. I open the box and a silver chain slides to the front, a plate with a written word stares back at me, twinkling with small diamonds.

“Love?” It’s written in a familiar handwriting. “It’s beautiful, Jack.

“And it’s how I feel about you. How I will always feel about you. I want you to remember that.” Jack takes the necklace and tugs me forward, clasping the chain around my neck. It’s perfect. “I want you to know that I am always with you, my love.” Jack places his hand over my heart and the broken bits feel seared together again.

My face is close to his and I want to kiss him so badly, to feel his lips pressed deep against my own. “You still haven’t told me where we are.” I tug him closer, but Jack looks away and pulls back.

“This is a rehab facility for alcohol and drug abuse. I want you to stay here.”

Fingering the necklace, shock and coldness knock me down. “I’m sorry. What?” My heart is ripped open again, leaving a gaping wound. Jack no longer wants me at home and this place is it? This is where my crazy ass has landed me? I’m alone again? The classic architecture of the building now looks foreboding and ugly. I don’t care how nicely you paint something white. It still has cracks and chips of dirty paint underneath. “You’re leaving me here?”

“We’ll get you signed in, and it’s only