His hands swiped over my cheeks briefly, and he narrowed his eyes on me. “You ever think maybe you should stop waiting? Go to him?”
Indignation burned through me. My fingers curled into my palms as my heart sped. “I did!” I said through clenched teeth. “I went to him. And both times he walked away. He left me.”
Leon shook his head. “And you let him.”
My mouth shot open, ready to deny it, to tell him he was an insensitive bastard who knew less than nothing. Then it hit me.
I’d hounded him with phone calls I knew he wouldn’t answer. Bombarded him with messages I knew he wouldn’t reply to. Stayed at his place, knowing he wouldn’t be coming back. I’d only physically gone to him twice since the funeral. I’d convinced myself it was better to wait for him to come to me because I didn’t want to push him, but really it was because I had needed that reassurance, that guarantee that I wouldn’t face his rejection. I’d been thinking about my needs. How hadn’t it occurred to me that he might have needed that from me? That he might have needed me to prove that I’d be there, not just say the words. The person who’d lost almost everyone that mattered had all but begged me to be the one who stayed. The times I’d gone to him, he'd needed me. He’d shown it in different ways, but he’d still shown it. He had needed me. Not some random hook-up who meant nothing to him. Me. And I’d stayed away, too afraid to hear him say he didn’t want me.
The thought of him with someone else made my stomach sick, but I’d left him alone in his grief. Too scared to fight for him, for us. And now I was in pain anyway, my heart breaking without him. We were a little lost, but I knew how I felt about him, and a few weeks ago he’d kissed me and told me he loved me with the entire school as a witness.
That hadn’t died. It couldn’t have. I wouldn’t let it.
Reno was worth it. We were worth it.
My head snapped up. “Where is he, Leon?”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but he narrowed them quickly and cleared his throat. “I’m not bringing you there, Ri. It’s a fucking cesspool. He’d kill me. Leave it for tonight. I’ll get him home. Come see him tomorrow.”
“Leon,” I grated.
“No fucking way, Ri, not doing it.” His brows drew down. “Don’t fucking look at me like that. You wouldn’t want to go there. It’s seedy as fuck.”
My lips parted to argue when a set of headlights lit up the window, drawing both of our heads around. My mom’s car. I flattened my mouth and dipped my head once in agreement.
“You okay?” Leon asked, bending low to reach my eyes.
I hiked one shoulder, pulling my lips up at one side.
His hands rubbed over my arms and he dropped a quick kiss to the top of my head. “I gotta get out of here, yeah?”
I let him go, watching from the open doorway until his tail lights faded from sight. Then I hauled ass over to the trailer three down and threw the door open.
My mom jumped, almost toppling over the heels she was busy taking off.
“Mom,” I barked as she gaped at me, “I need your car.”
Her brows came together. “Uhm, okay… keys are on the hook?”
There was a question in her voice. One I didn’t have time to answer.
Twenty-Four
Riley
“Good, you’re awake—”
“Are you dying?” a voice saturated with sleep asked.
“What? No.” I scrunched my face, my eyes trained intently on the road ahead of me.
“Is anyone dying?”
“No! I nee—”
“Did you get arrested and need bail money?”
“Jesus, no! Everyone’s good. Nobody’s incarcerated. What the hell is wrong with you? I’m call—”