“Come on,” he says, lighting a cigarette and handing me it.
He does this when he wants me to do something. “You’ll be safe here,” he says. “That’s what you need right now. Safety and protection.”
“No offense, man,” I start, “but I’m good at home. I’ve lasted this long in this business. I’m the lightest sleeper you’ll ever get to know. Don’t worry about me, I’ve got my own.”
“Well, at least let Andy guard your place,” he suggests.
“Nah, man. I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him, revving the car’s engine. If I were on a bike, I’d be a hell of a lot happier.
“Fine, you stubborn bastard,” he says. “You better be here tomorrow. I’ll see you around noon?”
“Noon it is,” I say before peeling out. They both cry out in encouragement.
I drive to my house, the whole time thinking of Caroline. This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion.
I thought we were getting along fine. I take one trip away from home to get some extra cash, and this shit happens.
It’s fucked up.
It’s not her fault a head got delivered to my door, or that she almost got raped and killed by those motherfuckers.
The entire situation makes me want to drive the car into the side of one of these mountains. I have so much pent up rage, not to mention all of the sadness I have leaking from my heart. It’s not something I want to really admit or talk about.
It all just hurts too much.
Ash was my fucking brother. Maybe we weren’t born of the same parents, but he was everything to me. We knew each other since the beginning, before the Hunters were even a thing. And now it’s all over.
I keep thinking I’m the one to blame for all of this. The deal went sour when I handed over the packages. How was I supposed to know the tensions would be that high?
There was someone in the Hunters who wasn’t playing ball. Someone opened fire and everything went to shit. I still can’t put it together in my mind correctly.
All I know is that if none of that was to happen, Ash and I would be kicking it back near the border, living like kings.
Instead, I’m going to have to bury him tonight. There, I said it. I’m going to have to bury my best friend’s head.
There’s a reason why I didn’t stay at the Silent Barn last night. I need to face what happened. I need closure for this whole thing. It’s so fucked. God dammit.
I stop at my place and wade through the broken glass. My counter is flipped to the floor, and it causes me a huge amount of stress. In my room, my bed is torn to bits. None of it is salvageable.
I grab my friend’s head by the hair. I know how that must look, but I don’t want to waste any time thinking about this anymore. I just want to put this behind me.
I dig a hole, some feet deep, and say my prayers. I put what’s left of him in the hole, and I throw the dirt with my bare hands. This is gut wrenching. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone.
I’m the one to blame. I’ve always been the one to blame. Caroline too.
She blames me. Well, she should.
I deserve nothing but hell. All I can hope for is a quick death.
14
Caroline
Screw Rowan and his piece of shit friends.
He’s a cold-hearted gangster. That’s it. What else is there to the man?
Nothing.