“Up to that point, everything in my life had felt out of my control.” I set my glass on the sideboard and return to my place beside her in the bed, resting my head on my hand as I think about that day. “I knew I was taking the reins on my life, but I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, if I would be successful, where I even wanted to go. I read that quote, and it resonated.”
“It’s the law of attraction.”
“You’ve heard of it?” She smiles, and I trace my finger across her prominent collarbone as I continue. “I liked the idea that it’s necessary to feel out of control sometimes. Feeling uncertain is something we all share, but you have to take that step anyway. Otherwise, you stop moving, and you stagnate.”
“If you’re a shark and you stop moving you die.” Her green eyes sparkle, and I know what she’s referencing.
“I see you’ve heard the old lawyer-shark analogy.”
“Someone reminded me.” She glances down at the silicone champagne flute in her hand then takes another sip. “This is good,” she says.
“Tell me what you want most in life.”
A small line pierces her brow, and she’s quiet. After what I’ve just shared with her, I hope she’ll open to me. I know how she withdraws, and all I can do is hold on, hope. I have to see if she’ll take a chance with me, and when she answers, warm satisfaction floods my stomach.
“Freedom.” Her expression is serious.
I’m so fucking pleased, I want to kiss her, but I keep my face steady. Tracing my finger along the line of her lips, I watch as her breath slowly swirls in and out.
“Me, too,” I answer gently.
“Yes, but I want it all my life, as long as I live.” She rolls to the side and places her glass on the sideboard before returning to face me. “In life it seems you always arrive at the point where one person has to give up their freedom, has to sacrifice what they want for the other. It’s always the woman.”
I slide my hand over her cheek, smoothing back the tiny strands of hair that came loose with the blindfold. She’s opening to me, and I have to be careful how I answer her.
“You’re right,” I say. Her full lips press together, and I lean forward to kiss them lightly before continuing. “What can we do about it?”
“You can’t do anything about it. I’ve decided never to get to that point.”
Sliding my hand up, I press the pad of my thumb to her bottom lip and pull slightly. Her teeth are so white and straight. I remember her sucking my thumb, and heat stirs my cock. “What about children?”
She lifts her chin. “If I decide that’s something I need, I’ll figure out what to do about it.”
“Amy.” It’s a hushed statement. My arms move back around her, gathering her to me. “Being in a relationship doesn’t have to be that way. What if I promise not to let it?”
Her fingers trace the line of my jaw. “In the beginning it’s easy to say that. Every man I’ve been with has said something like that, but after a while, six months or a year, it’s forgotten.” She’s not fighting me; she’s only stating her experience.
Dipping my chin, I pull a fingertip between my lips and give it a suck. I love the way her breathing changes when I touch her. It tells me so much more than her words will allow.
“How do they forget?” I ask.
“A million different ways. From deciding where we’ll live to accepting job offers without discussing it with me to buying my clothes or cars.”
“Sounds like you’ve been with a string of assholes.”
She stretches up and kisses me. “It’s the way we’re wired, darling. We can’t help thinking of ourselves first. The problem is when you’re tied to someone she goes where you go. Or in my case, she doesn’t, and it ends.”
The words twist anger in my stomach. She will go wherever I go—or vice versa if that’s what she wants. This woman can have everything she wants. As long as I can have her.
“Maybe it will, but maybe it won’t.” I keep my voice controlled, steady. “What’s stopping us from giving it a try?”
“Marcus.” Pushing against me, she sits forward in the bed, her smooth back curving as she leans her breasts against her thighs.
I sit up next to her, running my lips along the top of her shoulder. “Why are you afraid?”
Her shoulder rises, and she places her chin on it. I kiss that mouth again, but I want her to tell me. “Why won’t you let me show you I’m different?”
Blinking rapidly, she doesn’t answer right away. When she does, it’s not exactly what I want to hear, but I’ll take it.