One to Save (One to Hold 6)

“Neither was he.”

“Goddammit! I am NOT Sloan Reynolds!”

Dex starts to cry, and I clutch him closer to me. “I need you to give me your key and go.”

I’m doing my best not to back down from what I have to do, doing my best to hold myself together. Doing my best not to dissolve into the fountain of tears I feel welling up in my chest. Shifting Dex on my hip, I again try to step past Derek, but again he stops me. “I won’t let you do this to us.”

“NO!” Now my voice is raised. “You’re not putting this on me. You did this to us when you lied to me. When you swore you would be honest with me and the very next day you broke your word.”

He’s holding my arm too tightly, and I’m about to give in to my tears. “Let me go, Derek.”

“I can never let you go.”

My v

oice trembles. “Let me put Dex down for his nap.”

His grip relaxes, but he doesn’t move. “I’m not finished talking to you.”

I push past him speaking softly to my little boy, who’s sucking his finger. Once we’re in his room at Mom’s, I lay him in the crib and pull his favorite blanket beside him. He clutches the bear close and turns his head away, ready to sleep.

For a few moments, I stand beside his crib and rub his back, blinking as the first tears drop onto my cheeks. I have to stay strong. I have to make it through this. I have to believe I’m right.

A few more moments pass. Finally, I feel like I can go back to the living room. Dex is slowly drifting to sleep as I step out and close the door. A mirror hangs in the hallway behind me, and my eyes land on the gold chain around my neck. My breath hitches, my stomach cramps, and new tears flood my eyes. Reaching around my neck, I can barely unfasten it for my trembling fingers.

Holding the necklace in my hand I walk into the living room. “I should give this back.”

“You will not.” His face looks as if I’ve slapped him. “My heart is yours. Nothing has changed. You still love me.”

More tears flood my eyes until they can’t be contained. Drops fall on my cheeks, and I have to turn away. “I do. I love you more than I’ve ever loved any man.”

“Okay, then.” He’s behind me, holding my shoulders. “I’m moving home.”

“No, you’re not.” I step forward, out of his grasp. “I’ll deal with my broken heart the way you’ll deal with yours.”

“Dammit, Melissa.” His words are sharp even if his voice is low, and I appreciate him not wanting to upset Dex any more. “How can you say that?”

“I made a vow when I left Sloan’s mansion that I’d never live that way again.”

“If you compare me to that bastard again—”

Looking back over my shoulder, I meet his eyes now. “You’re not an abusive asshole who frequents prostitutes, that’s correct. Otherwise, you treat me the same as he did.”

His jaw moves as anger flashes in his eyes. “Nowhere in the fucking universe is that true, and you know it.”

“I’m not your equal. You hold me apart from your life—”

“You’re so far in my life, I don’t know where you begin and where I end. It’s why we can’t be separated.”

From somewhere deep in my heart comes a question I’m not sure I want to ask. Yet out it spills. “Did you keep secrets from Allison?”

“Of course not, but—” His answer is so fast, so automatic, it crushes me.

“I need you to give me my key and go.”

His fists clench, and for a moment, I’m afraid he might grab me. His voice grows louder as he speaks. “Stop this goddamn stubbornness, Melissa. I hear you now. I understand what you need, and I’m ready to give it to you.”

Dex’s whimpering from his room matches the quaking of my own insides. My head is light as I back away. I can’t argue with him anymore. I don’t have the strength. Putting my necklace on the end table, I clutch it for a moment, saying my final words. “I can’t do this anymore.”