Bowing my head, I hold her as she cries. I breathe in her sweet perfume of flowers, the soft scent of her soap, the warm scent of her skin. It’s a blend I used to dream about at night.
“I need to go back to Dover, see if I can get better, be the man you deserve—”
“No!” She pushes out of my arms, her voice rising. “I won’t hear you say that! All my life I’ve listened to people saying what I deserve, first my father, then these… these women. I know what I deserve. I know what want. You’re mine, Grayson Cole. From the first day when you saved me from that snake to the day you held me when Mamma died and every day after…”
Her eyes flash and tears stream down her cheeks, until her shoulders break. Her hands cover her face, and I scoop her into my arms again, holding her against me so tight.
“Shh.” I kiss her head, sliding my hand up and down her back like I’ve always done. “Stop crying.”
“You’re not leaving me.” She whimpers, her tears staining my shirt. “I waited for you so long. Don’t ever say it again.”
Pain is in my head, and my eyes squeeze shut. Drew holds my heart in her hand. As much as I fear hurting her physically, I can’t stand here and make her cry.
I clear the thickness from my throat. “I’ll do what I can.”
Chapter 27
Drew
Gray leaves me at the door with a kiss and a long hug. I try to make him come inside, but he won’t.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Drew-baby.” He kisses me again, his tongue softly curling with mine, igniting my panties despite my heavy heart.
“Dinner Friday,” I remind him.
He only nods, a slight wince, storm clouds filling his blue eyes.
Walking slowly to my bedroom, I sit on my bed, pulling my purse onto my lap. Op
ening it, I dig around until I find the old memento I’d wanted to show him tonight. I’d carried it the whole time, waiting for the right moment.
It’s the coaster from our last night at the lake house.
The one he signed.
Age has yellowed the paper, and the edges are frayed, but the writing is dark and permanent. The words are an indelible vow I’ve never let go.
All through his years in the desert, all through the dark year, when he disappeared, when I was afraid he’d never come back, I’d look at this aging piece of cardboard and read the words, letting them comfort my broken heart. No matter what, I had his promise.
I wanted to show him tonight.
Instead, I tuck it safely in my drawer again.
Before I close my eyes, I send one last text.
Me: We can get through this.
I don’t know if he’ll respond. I pull the blankets over my shoulder, and I’m just laying my head on the pillow when my phone buzzes.
Gray: Sleep, Drew-baby.
Sleep did not come easy, and I go straight to Dotty holding the coffee when I get to the clinic the next day.
“Oh, great goddess of all coffee goodness.”
She hands me a tall cappuccino with my initial in black on the side. “I put a little cinnamon in it for you again.”
“You’re the queen.” I hold the cup in both hands like it’s my grip on the planet. “Remind me to give you a raise.”